11 Years Makes a Difference

Dear Adam:

Please accept my apology for being so antisocial this evening. It really is so very unlike me. It's just...well...it's been 11 years, and though I have thought about you on occasion I really had no idea what to do when faced with...you...sitting a few seats away in tonight's focus group.

(By the way, didn't that TV show just suck? I sincerely hope I single-handedly kept it from ever appearing on network TV.)

I know I caught your eye, and I know you recognized me. Neither of us have changed that much (by the way, you're looking well). The proctor lady was Eastern European mean (you know what I mean) so I didn't want to get in trouble by drawing attention to us. And when we were allowed to leave, the mad dash to the door by everyone else in the room completely separated me from you. I really was going to stop and talk to you.

It seems as though you knew the guy sitting in front of us. You appeared deep in conversation with him, and when they paid me before you and I was swept into the elevator, there was just no time to jump out and loiter around hoping to make small talk with you. And then when you were just paces in back of me (with that friend of yours again) as I was hailing my cab, I noticed you noticing me.

Anyway, I really just wanted to let you know that I wanted to say hi. I wanted to ask how you've been and find out what you have been up to and chat about all of the people we were mutual friends with (yes, I know Jon and Kristen are married and that is just stunning to me to this very day). I wanted to reconnect. I have no excuse for not doing so except to say...I got shy. Yes, I know, that soooo isn't me. And that's why it was weird.

I mean, can you blame me? I was thinking how awesome it would be to reconnect, and then I started thinking, "My God, MoC, it's been eleven freaking years. Eleven! A lot happens in over a decade. We didn't keep in touch for over a decade; do we even have anything to say to each other besides the nod and smile I gave you?"

And though I'm sure there is, I was freaked out by the thought that someone who once spent countless weekends with me, was a part of my life in varying degrees for four years, and who road tripped with me to U of I more than once and always happily...that that person would look at me and realize that I am not that same girl. And the thought of you seeing who I am now and maybe not liking that girl nearly as much killed me. And the thought that we let 11 years go by like a snap of a finger is inexcusable. And the idea that we may have absolutely nothing to say to each other devastated me.

So really, it's not that I didn't recognize you or want to run up and hug you and pretend as though this sea of time wasn't swimming between us. It's just that I found too many easy excuses and you obviously did, too, and maybe that made things more interesting. Because I can write this letter, and I know you were telling your friend, 'That's my friend MoC from MU' and we each obtained a story from the evening.

Oh! And it's great you're back from Milwaukee. Maybe we'll run into each other some time soon. I promise to say hi next time.

Always, MoC

Happy Anniversary To Me

Two big anniversaries to celebrate within the past 24 hours. One year ago yesterday, I signed my life away and bought my condo. One year ago today, I made the big move and successfully made a life for myself 30 minutes more north than I ever thought I would live. It's been a crazy, unbelievably fast year and a really happy one as well. May my next year and all the years I remain here be just as wonderful (although it doesn't have to be as speedy. That time racing by stuff is freaky).

Oh, Jealousy (alternate title: When It Rains, It Pours)

Yesterday we celebrated Rafferty's birthday with karaoke and copious drinks. It was way low-key and full of many surprises. The best one being The Crush's re-entry into my life. As Rafferty recapped it this morning, "Once you two locked eyes, no one else existed." Cliche? Maybe. True? Yes.

What made the evening especially interesting is while The Crush and I were catching up on the past year, DXB was working up the courage to come crash our reunion for a chat, pacing back and forth between us and eavesdropping whenever possible. When he finally did find an opening for himself, my heart actually hurt a little for him as he was so obviously jealous and trying to not only stand out but steer my sole attention to him. (It didn't work.)

Come the end of the evening, I had personal after-party invitations from the both of them and it should be no surprise that I agreed to go with The Crush. Which happened to crush DXB a little more than a small bit. To add insult to his own injured heart (or libido...or both), he decided to call me when he got home just as The Crush and I were ready to get reacquainted. I know he was fishing for something. Exactly what remains a mystery. I know I shouldn't but I can't help but feel a tiny bit sorry for him. I've never seen him quite so vulnerable or let his guard down quite so much.

Despite that, I can say with very much honesty that it was really quite excellent being with The Crush, enjoying his company, and spending a leisurely morning of extra-strong coffee in his backyard with him.

I can say with complete certainty that he will be on my mind for much of the day. I didn't realize how much I truly missed him until he was before me. If the past 18 hours are any indication, this could be the start of an extra-fun summer.

It's All About Where You Eat Today

Make a choice on your city's dining list, enjoy a great meal, and donate towards local HIV/AIDS organizations.

It's About Time

I support our troops. I have many, many friends and family that have been or currently are in the military. But this crazy train got off course long ago and we need to wrap it up sooner rather than later.

But It Just Wouldn't Be The Same

I like "30 Rock." It's comic genious actually. And the very best character EVER is Baldwin's Jack Donaghy. Sadly, without Jack, the show would be your average, it's-not-even-worth-TIVOing comedy.

NBC rejecting his desire to be let out of his contract for a dumb reason like "parental alienation" (seriously, he just made that up) and hoping he doesn't take the cast and crew down with him (Why would he? They didn't rant at his child) is downright stupid.

Sure, Baldwin is a class A jerk. But he's a funny jerk. And "30 Rock" will continue to record on my TIVO.

Celebrity Parenting

MSNBC has it right with this article.

My favorite point is #10. So true.

Slow Leak = Hours of Fun

I received an unexpected call at work today. It was from Debbie at the management company regarding the unit below mine. It seemed, she told me, that they had a bit of water coming from their ceiling in their closet. She speculated (and rightly so, we later learned) that this was coming from my water source; more specifically, the water source in my closet that was repaired during my last heat problem just two weeks ago.

My heart plummeted and then quickly ached a bit and then my pulse quickened and I immediately thought the worst. Was this going to be an expense I had to pick up? Was the neighbor below me experiencing major water damage? Was I experiencing some major water damage? And if so, what was that going to cost me?

I was nearly ready to pass out just thinking about it, ruing the day I ever decided home owning was a glorious experience I wanted to have. Debbie thought it best I get home ASAP. So I hopped the next train I could and made it home in time for the heating and cooling guy to waltz in with all of his machinery and get to work at 3:00 sharp.

As an aside, this is the same heating and cooling man who has helped me the past two times. We've seen far too much of each other in the past 5 months. The old biddies on my floor are going to start gossiping about my Polish luvah, I'm sure of it.

Anyway, my Mr. Fix-It tinkered around making quite a racket for not one, not two, not even three hours. Try, um...SIX hours. Yes, SIX. I was livid and tired and desperate for him (and later, his boss, too) to leave.

When all was fixed- how many hours later? Yes, that's SIX- and they assured me I wouldn't be experiencing further problems and I signed the work order, I could only sigh in utter happiness that I wasn't footing the bill on all of this overtime.

So when I woke up this morning and thought it would be just any old day of the week, I had no idea what would be in store for me.

I am craving a whole cask of red wine. Thank god tomorrow is the monthly dinner party, where I may not get a cask of wine, but it will surely be flowing freely enough.

Under-Valued

Today I received one of those mixed blessings; the curse of news that is both good and bad and a lot of things in-between. Today I learned that I am not going to Asia in 5 weeks for my show.

Being in the event planning business I can say that working my arse off for nearly a year to make this thing go off without a hitch, get a critical mass of people there, and have the optimum publicity and buzz has big pay off when I'm at the event. There is nothing quite like running around like crazy, multitasking and witnessing that all of the long hours and hard work was not in vain. It's just not even close to the same when reports are called or emailed in from the show.

The decision was made for budgetary reasons. I am all for being a team player, and I respect my budget and that of the company and understand that if there isn't money to send all of the necessary people then so be it. But to not send me?!? That was a slap in the face. A hard one.

Oddly enough, the slap had a delayed reaction--because my first thought was a giddy one. A "woohoo, I don't have to go" one. Honestly, I've been to this location before. I don't have much desire to go again, especially for 10 days. And I think of the amount of work that I can get done while everyone's out of the office, and I'm actually looking forward to those days.

But then... Then it hit. The slap reaction. The sting. There were so many other people that could have been cut from the travel list. So many other people that don't have much to do when they're at these events. Is this precedent-setting? What does this say about how my position is viewed from the executive who made this decision (who, mind you, I get along with well)?

In the end, I can only view this in one way: I am completely under-valued. Seeing as I have never, ever been treated this way during my entire career, it's an entirely foreign feeling and an equally foreign situation. I'm waffling between being flabbergasted and being disgusted and am ultimately hurt and entirely miffed.

Seeing as there is little that can be said (the decision has been made--without my consultation or opinion), I can only channel Scarlett: Tomorrow is another day.

Good Lord, let it be a good one!

This Doesn't Happen Every Day

Today I had a unique experience that doesn't happen to just anyone any old day of the week. Today I sat before a newly-appointed 23-year-old CFO and was told, as he slouched in his chair over-using air quotes and looking especially bored, "You keep saying you're going to 'try' to cut a considerable sum from your budget. Are you actually planning on 'doing' so?" This--after being told the necessary news just 5 minutes in advance of the meeting. I could've jumped across the table and taken him. And what's with the air quotes around doing?

Boy, Those Brits Know How To Have Fun

Whoever is funding this theme park has too much money on their hands. If they're looking to throw money away, my hand is extended.

New Pooh

My friend Pooh Bear shared some good news with me last night: His frigid wife finally let him into her bed, and as a result they will be having baby Pooh #4 in November. Despite the fact that he (still) questions just how much she loves him, the good news is he had sex. And since he wants a big family, the bonus is the baby. Many congrats to the Bear family! May this Pooh be as magical as the last three.

What Did I Sign Up For?

This time last year, I was packing up my meager possessions, calling movers, and saving the last of my pennies knowing I would never again know what it would be like to have a significant amount of funds at my disposal--all because I was embarking on my first go 'round at home ownership.

My one year anniversary in my condo is in one week. As I approach this milestone, I can't help but look back and see what I wanted, what I got, and ask, really, is this what I signed up for?

What I wanted: A nice two bedroom condo- preferably vintage- with hardwood floors, a fair amount of space, a balcony or deck, in-unit washer and dryer, a parking space, and a couple good-looking, single men.

What I got: A nice one bedroom condo- not vintage- with no hardwood floors (but Pergo floors in my awesome kitchen), not-so-much space (although it is a relatively open floor plan), no balcony or deck, and no in-unit washer and dryer. There is a parking space, and that counts for something. I haven't seen any men that can be considered really "good-looking," per se, but they might be single.

What I got myself into: A 33-year-old building that is fine for right now (well, the building itself is fine. The neighbors...well, you can't pick 'em, can you?). It's in a nice neighborhood, close to the Metra and a beer garden. (The beer garden is a big selling point) And though I outgrew this place the minute I started to unpack, I cannot beat my mortgage payments and I certainly cannot beat the association fees and taxes. Taxes are big deal, aren't they?

Is this what I signed up for? It wasn't what I expected, but it certainly isn't something I regret. Being a home owner is harder than I thought it would be (I wish someone would've given me a heads up). I hate that I can't call a landlord to fix the littlest thing. I really hate that there are certain expenses that can land in my lap (hello, new thermostat).

But it can be exciting and it can be fun and in the end I'm hoping that this little investment of mine turns out to be worth it all. Because I have my eye on a few places nearby, all with 2 bedrooms, balconies, and hopefully in-unit washer and dryers. Because that in-unit washer and dryer, that's now my number one must-have next time around. Hardwood floors and good-looking single men are nice plusses as well.

Finally--Some Professional Laughs

Network TV has long been missing a good unscripted comedy. Imagine my joy when my DVR picked up "Thank God You're Here." Makes me smile in the way only semi-forgotten comedians can.

Diego Does Church

Nothing shows how influential educational kiddie programming is on today's toddlers like the art of imitation. In church yesterday evening: Diva Niece channeling Diego. As the priest holds up the host, the only sound to be heard was her clapping and screaming "Oh no! Clap clap clap! Let's go!" Kids. Always a riot.

Ah Firenze

Back from Italy and, as I suspected, it was quite amazing.

Milan wasn't at all what I imagined. Maybe because it just isn't a very pretty city or maybe because the area I spent the majority of my time was dank and relatively non-descript. Despite not feeling much of an affinity for the city, my time working there did have its moments.

We stayed at the newly-opened Nhow Hotel. So new, in fact, that cab drivers didn't even know it existed. All the trendy folks did, though. Aveda had a huge conference going on there, and the people it brought in were real characters. There were also model auditions and a Ferragamo fashion shoot taking place during my stay. I can't even begin to really describe the wacky hotel and its uber-trendy interior (and exterior) decorations. It was...an experience indeed.

The area of town we stayed in is what the Milanese describe as a changing environment. Much how Wicker Park was 10 years ago. Only different. Aside from the old section of town where the Duomo looms large and the famed La Scala opera house stands proudly on its corner lot, there is graffiti everywhere. It's beyond sad to walk or drive past buildings hundreds and hundreds of years old that have been desecrated in such ways. Though I was there for a week, I was sensitive to it every day, never waning.

Aside from a couple nights in the old part of town including a walk through fashion row, two visits to the best little gelato shop owned by the cutest old Italian lady who didn't speak a lick of English, and playing Yahtzee with some locals and GBF during an especially inebriated night, Milan was...eh. Just eh.

I was thrilled to head out to Florence, where I just knew I wouldn't be disappointed. And I wasn't.

Ah Firenze.

I immediately fell in love and miss it sorely. Words cannot describe the beauty and magic of every square inch of this city. It is perfectly preserved from its Renaissance period right down to the cobblestones, the iron loops on the sides of buildings for which locals could tie their horses, and the grand Ponte Vecchio.

My friend and I stayed at the Hotel De Lanzi, located one block from the Duomo on a quiet little street that I almost missed walking from the train station that first night. It's a typical European hotel and was perfect for our needs.

Given the short period of time we had (just under 2 days), I'm amazed at all that we packed in and still had time for many stops for wine. The Uffizi Gallery in all its grandeur; the Accedemia and its main atraction--the breathtakingly beautiful David; Pitti Palace; the Duomo and Bell Tower; the Medici Chapel; the San Lorenzo market; the leather market; the Ponte Vecchio; and, of course, a stop at a very fine wine shop.

Did I mention the stops for amazing wine? Yeah, it's all really incredible and the house wines- obviously all local- are fantastic and inexpensive.

Though I navigated the town well right down to enjoying some of its most hidden treasures, there are some things I wish I could've done. On the agenda for next time: the Boboli Gardens (inclement weather changed my plans of traipsing through that corner of beauty); the Riccardi-Medici Palace; the Bargello (I enjoyed the knock-off sculptures in the outdoor piazza and admired them while sipping some chianti in my last hours in the city but didn't have the opportunity to enjoy all of the sculptures inside the museum); and day tours to Fiesole and Siena as well as a wine tour or two.

Yes, I will return--and hopefully sooner rather than later. It is a life-changing place, Firenze is. A wonderful experience I won't soon forget.