Move Your Ass Before I Poke Your Eye Out
Walking in the Loop during rush hour is always an experience. A sea of people all moving against each other, all either in full hustle mode or slow-poking along at their leisure. All at the same time.
Usually, I enjoy being part of this mix. I know, this coming from Ms. Impatient. Funny, isn't it?
I've determined my enjoyment comes from the fact that this sea of people- all towering above me- works to my advantage when getting places. While people of normal height crane their necks to see around, above, or generally past the wall of people around them and must pay careful attention to move at the speed of everyone else lest they step on someone's heels, I can make my way through this crowd with ease. It's all about the bob-and-weave. A technique us vertically-challenged people learned at a young age and work to the hilt in every day situations.
When it's pissing down, though- well, that's a whole other story. Now there are umbrellas to contend with. And when I have the same props as the average person, the bob-and-weave only makes for possible injury to anyone who gets in my way.
What is generally a 7-minute walk to the train took me almost 15 today due to the sea of umbrellas. One would think rain and big puddles and broken umbrellas with the sharp points exposed would make most commuters clip along at a decent pace. Unfortunately, the let's-slow-down-and-pretend-we've-never-seen-rain syndrome that affects many drivers also affects walkers. I don't get it.
As I missed not one but two trains while I was waiting for Mr. McSlowPoke to drag his happy ass across the street, I couldn't help but imagine myself plowing past the people, using my umbrella as a weapon. It was very Ally McBeal-esque, this little vision of mine. It made the bad part of commuting a bit more bearable this evening.
Usually, I enjoy being part of this mix. I know, this coming from Ms. Impatient. Funny, isn't it?
I've determined my enjoyment comes from the fact that this sea of people- all towering above me- works to my advantage when getting places. While people of normal height crane their necks to see around, above, or generally past the wall of people around them and must pay careful attention to move at the speed of everyone else lest they step on someone's heels, I can make my way through this crowd with ease. It's all about the bob-and-weave. A technique us vertically-challenged people learned at a young age and work to the hilt in every day situations.
When it's pissing down, though- well, that's a whole other story. Now there are umbrellas to contend with. And when I have the same props as the average person, the bob-and-weave only makes for possible injury to anyone who gets in my way.
What is generally a 7-minute walk to the train took me almost 15 today due to the sea of umbrellas. One would think rain and big puddles and broken umbrellas with the sharp points exposed would make most commuters clip along at a decent pace. Unfortunately, the let's-slow-down-and-pretend-we've-never-seen-rain syndrome that affects many drivers also affects walkers. I don't get it.
As I missed not one but two trains while I was waiting for Mr. McSlowPoke to drag his happy ass across the street, I couldn't help but imagine myself plowing past the people, using my umbrella as a weapon. It was very Ally McBeal-esque, this little vision of mine. It made the bad part of commuting a bit more bearable this evening.
1 Comments:
I don't get why people drive (and apparently walk) in rain/snow like it's never happened before. It's like the first snowfall of the year...it's always the top story on the news. What the f*** is that?
By
RockerMom, at 8:27 PM
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