Nothing Stays the Same
Nearly 8 years ago, I met a really incredible person based almost entirely on a dare. Our conversation was never supposed to last more than 10 minutes. We were never really supposed to get to know each other. We certainly never expected that 8 years later we would still be in each others lives. Yet that's the case.
We used to think that was pretty incredible. We used to think we beat the odds in some way and that our friendship was something pretty special.
Somewhere in the past 8 years, we went from dare to dating to amazing friends (oftentimes with benefits). During that time, we went from the incredibly fun getting-to-know-you period to the god-we-might-as-well-be-an-old-married-couple comfortable-ness. More than anything, we are great friends.
He loves me. I love him. Neither of us are or ever have been in love with each other. And that probably explains how we, seemingly effortlessly, have made this last so long.
If I could chart our highs and lows, I would see that we have slowly been on a downhill turn. Our relationship, the one we didn't intentionally mean to build, has slowly been crumbling and I fear the end of what we have known for nearly 8 years is upon us.
It's the little things that tell me that. I know he sees it, too. It scares him. He's eluded to as much. It scares me, too. He has no idea. Perhaps it's a phase. And that would be nice. But I think I know what is coming. It's really only a matter of time. Even if we remain friends on some level, it won't be the same. Nothing really ever is.
We used to think that was pretty incredible. We used to think we beat the odds in some way and that our friendship was something pretty special.
Somewhere in the past 8 years, we went from dare to dating to amazing friends (oftentimes with benefits). During that time, we went from the incredibly fun getting-to-know-you period to the god-we-might-as-well-be-an-old-married-couple comfortable-ness. More than anything, we are great friends.
He loves me. I love him. Neither of us are or ever have been in love with each other. And that probably explains how we, seemingly effortlessly, have made this last so long.
If I could chart our highs and lows, I would see that we have slowly been on a downhill turn. Our relationship, the one we didn't intentionally mean to build, has slowly been crumbling and I fear the end of what we have known for nearly 8 years is upon us.
It's the little things that tell me that. I know he sees it, too. It scares him. He's eluded to as much. It scares me, too. He has no idea. Perhaps it's a phase. And that would be nice. But I think I know what is coming. It's really only a matter of time. Even if we remain friends on some level, it won't be the same. Nothing really ever is.
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