Weirdness
I heard a rumor that the former trader ex-boyfriend got engaged. It's probably true. It makes me laugh because I never thought it was possible that he could ever love anyone enough for that.
I remember when I kicked him out of my life for the last time back in 2001. I was sick of the on-again/off-again relationship. Sick of his pathetic attempts to make me jealous. I was tired of trying at a relationship that for 5 years hadn't worked in the short or long term. I was exhausted from him turning friendship (which we did well) into a continual attempt at reviving the relationship (which had some good shots but more pretty awful ones). When I finally ended things for good on the front porch of my house, I got the best line ever from him: "Good thing it's warm outside because it sure is cold in there."
I was proud of myself for once and for all putting a stop to the emotional vampirism. Yet I missed him. Not the relationship him- he was a mediocre boyfriend and an even more mediocre lover- but the friendship him; the whole kit-and-caboodle him. Because oddly enough, we complemented each other well. We always managed to have the best times together--when we weren't making each other miserable with our failed attempts at being a couple.
I got over him quickly. I stood by my axing him out of my life, deleting his emails, often without reading them. I ignored his calls at work and home. I changed my cell number. When I moved, he never knew. And we lost touch.
As I was preparing to change jobs two years ago, we connected again by chance. Time had passed and we had both moved on in big ways. No hard feelings; just a lot of curiosity. We did a lot of emailing, but I refused to give him my number or address. I knew he'd try to get back into my life in a big way, and I just didn't have it in me to deal with that again.
During the course of our catching up, he mentioned he was living with a new girl. She was a banker. She was older. She may or may not have a child that didn't live with her. She was bossy and irritable, according to him, but she had money and liked to dote on him and spoil him. She bought a condo for them, and he was enjoying himself, just waiting for the next trip, next present, next usage of money and attention on him.
This was, of course, all so typical of him. He loved this stuff. And then he propositioned me. Not once, but twice. And in big, persistent ways. That was typical, too.
That's when I told him that it was nice catching up but that I didn't think continuing to chat would work out for us.
When he worked down the block from me (which he later did for about a year), I would occasionally run into him. Smile. Nod. He looked well, but not like the guy I dated and certainly not like the one who was my friend. He wore a lot of pink shirts. The old him would have made fun of that.
I occasionally hear about him and the woman from friends of friends. They've been together for a few years now, and getting engaged is only inevitable. I suppose deep down I assumed he'd find some way to screw this up. The fact that she never kicked him out is a testament either to her stupidity or great love. Perhaps a bit of both.
I'd like to think he's faithful to her. I'd like to think he's over using her. I'd like to think he really does love her. I just honestly never thought he was capable of being that kind of guy. Although I wish him well in that endeavor.
I remember when I kicked him out of my life for the last time back in 2001. I was sick of the on-again/off-again relationship. Sick of his pathetic attempts to make me jealous. I was tired of trying at a relationship that for 5 years hadn't worked in the short or long term. I was exhausted from him turning friendship (which we did well) into a continual attempt at reviving the relationship (which had some good shots but more pretty awful ones). When I finally ended things for good on the front porch of my house, I got the best line ever from him: "Good thing it's warm outside because it sure is cold in there."
I was proud of myself for once and for all putting a stop to the emotional vampirism. Yet I missed him. Not the relationship him- he was a mediocre boyfriend and an even more mediocre lover- but the friendship him; the whole kit-and-caboodle him. Because oddly enough, we complemented each other well. We always managed to have the best times together--when we weren't making each other miserable with our failed attempts at being a couple.
I got over him quickly. I stood by my axing him out of my life, deleting his emails, often without reading them. I ignored his calls at work and home. I changed my cell number. When I moved, he never knew. And we lost touch.
As I was preparing to change jobs two years ago, we connected again by chance. Time had passed and we had both moved on in big ways. No hard feelings; just a lot of curiosity. We did a lot of emailing, but I refused to give him my number or address. I knew he'd try to get back into my life in a big way, and I just didn't have it in me to deal with that again.
During the course of our catching up, he mentioned he was living with a new girl. She was a banker. She was older. She may or may not have a child that didn't live with her. She was bossy and irritable, according to him, but she had money and liked to dote on him and spoil him. She bought a condo for them, and he was enjoying himself, just waiting for the next trip, next present, next usage of money and attention on him.
This was, of course, all so typical of him. He loved this stuff. And then he propositioned me. Not once, but twice. And in big, persistent ways. That was typical, too.
That's when I told him that it was nice catching up but that I didn't think continuing to chat would work out for us.
When he worked down the block from me (which he later did for about a year), I would occasionally run into him. Smile. Nod. He looked well, but not like the guy I dated and certainly not like the one who was my friend. He wore a lot of pink shirts. The old him would have made fun of that.
I occasionally hear about him and the woman from friends of friends. They've been together for a few years now, and getting engaged is only inevitable. I suppose deep down I assumed he'd find some way to screw this up. The fact that she never kicked him out is a testament either to her stupidity or great love. Perhaps a bit of both.
I'd like to think he's faithful to her. I'd like to think he's over using her. I'd like to think he really does love her. I just honestly never thought he was capable of being that kind of guy. Although I wish him well in that endeavor.
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