Searching For Love In All The Wrong Places
I used to be a serial dater. Ah, how I miss being a 20-something, when the energy for such activities seemed limitless and the desire for more was nil.
The past couple years I shed the multiple dates-in-an-evening/weekend attitude and decided to try to find the "one true fit" for me. It stood to reason, in my mind, that now was the time to mature my dating stance and start thinking seriously about my future. Still unattached, I can attest that this transformation didn't work as well as it did in the theory that led me to this "plan."
In the past few years I have dated several losers and nogoodniks (with a few keepers thrown in for good measure), and the line is still forming--and the passing up of said losers is still occurring. I am nothing without my standards.
And seeing as I'm not shedding those, it seems as though being single is something I am embodying more and more as the days tick into months and the months tick into years. I don't think my idea for looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now is a bad one. It's just a helluva lot harder than it sounds. I'm convinced I'm looking- or putting myself out there- in all the wrong places, but if that's the case, then what are the right places?
Which leads me to think that maybe, just maybe, not everyone is meant to be hitched. And, if there is someone out there for everyone, then maybe that doesn't always happen in the prime of life. I started to think this several years ago, and long ago came to terms with the fact that if this is case then I am possibly one if its casualities--or members (depending on how you look for it).
I have friends in similar situations that I'm in. Good, smart, attractive, witty women (and men) who can't find a worthy date let alone a partner for a year to life. The difference is many of these friends are fighting it kicking and screaming. Refusing to believe that if there is someone out there for everyone, then maybe their someone isn't coming along for another decade or so.
I'm not suggesting sitting back idly and waiting, but I also refuse to believe that every man I meet is "the one." In most cases, they're not worth the time I spend chatting with them. But I roll with the punches and try to enjoy every minute I can. Even the bad ones.
Though I am intent that I will open myself up to new possibilities this year, I stand firm in my belief that being coupled does not define me, it is only something that enhances who I am.
The past couple years I shed the multiple dates-in-an-evening/weekend attitude and decided to try to find the "one true fit" for me. It stood to reason, in my mind, that now was the time to mature my dating stance and start thinking seriously about my future. Still unattached, I can attest that this transformation didn't work as well as it did in the theory that led me to this "plan."
In the past few years I have dated several losers and nogoodniks (with a few keepers thrown in for good measure), and the line is still forming--and the passing up of said losers is still occurring. I am nothing without my standards.
And seeing as I'm not shedding those, it seems as though being single is something I am embodying more and more as the days tick into months and the months tick into years. I don't think my idea for looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now is a bad one. It's just a helluva lot harder than it sounds. I'm convinced I'm looking- or putting myself out there- in all the wrong places, but if that's the case, then what are the right places?
Which leads me to think that maybe, just maybe, not everyone is meant to be hitched. And, if there is someone out there for everyone, then maybe that doesn't always happen in the prime of life. I started to think this several years ago, and long ago came to terms with the fact that if this is case then I am possibly one if its casualities--or members (depending on how you look for it).
I have friends in similar situations that I'm in. Good, smart, attractive, witty women (and men) who can't find a worthy date let alone a partner for a year to life. The difference is many of these friends are fighting it kicking and screaming. Refusing to believe that if there is someone out there for everyone, then maybe their someone isn't coming along for another decade or so.
I'm not suggesting sitting back idly and waiting, but I also refuse to believe that every man I meet is "the one." In most cases, they're not worth the time I spend chatting with them. But I roll with the punches and try to enjoy every minute I can. Even the bad ones.
Though I am intent that I will open myself up to new possibilities this year, I stand firm in my belief that being coupled does not define me, it is only something that enhances who I am.
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