Open Letter to the Parking Garage Speed Demon
Dear Mr. Speed Demon:
I want to extend my personal thanks for nearly running me over this morning. It must have looked like I had a death wish or needed a quick wake-up call this morning (Chicago traffic just doesn't provide enough excitement for me).
You obviously must have a very important job for which you were running late. That can be the only explanation for the way you whipped around the corner and zigzagged so fiercely up and down the aisle down which I was walking.
Sure, I'm short. And that black coat of mine must have disguised me in the medium-lit parking garage. I'm sure you hardly expected someone to be walking to the exit doors. After all, it is only across from one of Chicago's busiest buldings, which sees hundreds of business folks and tourists daily. Why would there ever be people in the garage? Those cars just magically appear and disappear.
I especially liked the squealing tires as you whipped around the corner and barrelled full speed ahead up our aisle. High drama! That was a nice touch. The exasperated look you provided was even nicer as you screeched to a halt inches from me. You almost made me think it was my fault I was walking so close to parked cars. Next time I'll try to climb on top of them for the ease of your driving. Perhaps I missed the cameras that were filming your version of the "Fast and the Furious." Again, my fault.
Though I came inches from landing on your hood, I appreciate your second attempt at maiming me as I gracefully shuffled away from you. However, I missed whatever morning greeting you shouted to me as you barely missed hitting me again. I suggest the next time you almost run someone over, you roll down the window all the way so your victim can hear it all clearly. I'm sure it was something either jovial or profound.
I hope you have a lovely morning. You sure started mine off in grand style. Who needs that additional cup of coffee? I'm wide awake and have only you to thank for providing that extra kick in the pants to high-tail it to the office and get right to work. And I owe it all to you.
Cheers,
MoC
I want to extend my personal thanks for nearly running me over this morning. It must have looked like I had a death wish or needed a quick wake-up call this morning (Chicago traffic just doesn't provide enough excitement for me).
You obviously must have a very important job for which you were running late. That can be the only explanation for the way you whipped around the corner and zigzagged so fiercely up and down the aisle down which I was walking.
Sure, I'm short. And that black coat of mine must have disguised me in the medium-lit parking garage. I'm sure you hardly expected someone to be walking to the exit doors. After all, it is only across from one of Chicago's busiest buldings, which sees hundreds of business folks and tourists daily. Why would there ever be people in the garage? Those cars just magically appear and disappear.
I especially liked the squealing tires as you whipped around the corner and barrelled full speed ahead up our aisle. High drama! That was a nice touch. The exasperated look you provided was even nicer as you screeched to a halt inches from me. You almost made me think it was my fault I was walking so close to parked cars. Next time I'll try to climb on top of them for the ease of your driving. Perhaps I missed the cameras that were filming your version of the "Fast and the Furious." Again, my fault.
Though I came inches from landing on your hood, I appreciate your second attempt at maiming me as I gracefully shuffled away from you. However, I missed whatever morning greeting you shouted to me as you barely missed hitting me again. I suggest the next time you almost run someone over, you roll down the window all the way so your victim can hear it all clearly. I'm sure it was something either jovial or profound.
I hope you have a lovely morning. You sure started mine off in grand style. Who needs that additional cup of coffee? I'm wide awake and have only you to thank for providing that extra kick in the pants to high-tail it to the office and get right to work. And I owe it all to you.
Cheers,
MoC
2 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
By
RockerMom, at 2:43 PM
Hey there, sorry about the deletion. I am having a technical retardation moment and don't know why but the link to my blog came up as a link to Yahoo mail. My friend is trying to fix the problem for me even though it's 11pm where she is! Anyway, what I wanted to say was that I can totally relate. I'm sure I will be posting similar episodes as they occur almost daily. Just waiting for the perfect one. Tee hee...
By
RockerMom, at 4:49 PM
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