Losing Control of My Inner Monologue

On the Road Again

2008-03-22T08:21:00.002-06:00

For once the people who pay my bills didn't mislead me and I have enjoyed a "normal" life at home without any travel for the past 3 months. I forgot how great it can be to be home and do what I want, when I want without constant checking of schedules and planning weeks ahead and explaining that though I am the one that initiated plans, I'm also the one that needs to cancel them because of a last minute trip. Yes, I'm so enjoying having my life back.

With that said, I'm kicking off Travel 2008 this evening. Only this time, the trip is all about me and what I want to do and where I want to go. Entirely leisure-based. I'm leaving this snowy mess of a city behind me and heading out to San Diego to visit Diva Niece for Easter. Five days of sun, warmth, and a 2 1/2-year-old. Cannot. Wait.

I hope when I return everything is melted and Spring will have (finally) sprung.

Watching, Reading, Doing

2008-03-08T08:38:00.001-06:00

I love movies. With that said, I can tell you that unfortunately I never find the time to go to the theater anymore. NetFlix- and airplane trips- are my salvation in seeing anything even semi-recent. So it was a real treat last night to carve out some time to see a first-run flick.

The Other Boleyn Girl was a fantastic period piece! Aside from the fake English accents (Natalie Portman did a far better job than Scarlett Johanssen), it was truly great. And because there were some glitches in getting the movie going through the first 15 minutes, we all received free tickets to another movie of our choice (I think I’ll hold onto mine for the new Sex and the City movie). Now that’s customer service!

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I picked up Melissa Bank’s The Wonder Spot over the summer at one of Border’s sidewalk sales for a couple bucks. It went in my “bought for cheap, read later” boxes sitting by my book shelf and I grabbed it earlier in the week to occupy my commute to work and back. I so adored it! I love Bank’s writing style. It’s like listening to a girlfriend recount moments in her life.

The problem with the “bought for cheap, read later” box is none of the books are new…and I often crave a hot-off-the-presses book. So it looks like a trip to the book store is in my future. I want to stock up on a few new titles for my trip to Cali later this month.

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A good friend and her hubby have been having some fundamental marriage issues that started years ago and have only grown worse. The past seven months have been especially bad and he moved out last weekend. Though we all think this is probably the best outcome that could come from their awful situation (she thinks so, too), it’s obviously hard for her. So tonight, we bring the party to her house. A great occasion for a Girls Night In if ever I heard of one.

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Only 14 more days until Mom and I fly out to San Diego to see Diva Niece. Boy, I miss that little girl! Of course the trip will be wonderful but not having an endless supply of airline miles (you’d think I would) or money, I know that trips out there can’t be as frequent as I’d like. So the goal for the weekend is to finally set up my web cam. I think I’m the last family member to get their lazy butt in gear with this project—and this lazy family member is the one that bought everyone this new toy. Go figure.

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More snow?!?! How far do you need to be from the lake to capitalize on lake-effect snow? Another 3 inches on the ground. Really? C’mon. The seasonal god’s are just laughing at Chicagoans now.

MORE Taxes (So THIS is where my money goes)

2008-03-05T12:58:00.002-06:00

Last week, Cook County Board President Todd Stroger, to prove he is even more of a moron than most of us already think, passed a sales tax increase that hikes our county's sales tax to one of (if not the) highest in the nation. When the news came down, I immediately considered my options: pay money for nothing aside from an extra dose of frustration on every single transaction made at work and home...or, start running errands in a neighboring county. It'd be a little out of my way, but if I did it all in one fell swoop, how inconvenient could it be? Grocery shopping, gas, dry cleaning... But now there's an even better idea: Convince my town to secede from the county. Personally, it'd be more convenient for me. But on the off-chance it doesn't happen (and really, the chances are all but nil), I should probably become accustomed to finding new stores just over the county border or suck it up and dish out a lot of extra cash per year. Stupid sales tax increase with a looming recession before us and no cost of living pay adjustments. Just outright dumb.

Grandparent Day

2008-03-02T08:17:00.003-06:00

Today I am lunching with a friend's grandmother. She's a lovely, classy woman full of wonderful, romantic stories from year's goneby. I enjoy her company, not just because of these stories and her funny comments on everything under the sun, but mostly because she's a grandma. A novelty for me.

Growing up grandparent-less for the majority of my life, spending time with an older generation who has wisdom, insight, and who has seen the world change in so many ways- both positive and negative- is unfamiliar to me. And something I crave.

I never realized what I missed out on by not having a grandparent in my life growing up until I started to meet friend's grandparents. Only then did I realize that I am in the minority. These friends don't know what's like to have a limited core family; to have gatherings where the oldest generation present is your parents; to be truly thankful for having these special people in their life for so very long. What is very apparent to me is it's something that was lacking in my development and something absent in who I am today. Though I don't think it has negatively impacted me, a reversal of fortune could have made me a better person. I'll never know.

So Ann and I will be enjoying a senior special at some above-average dining establishment where I can understand, if only fleetingly, what it's like to have someone that special in your life and perhaps pretend, for just a moment, that my life wasn't robbed of such opportunity at such a young age.

If you have a grandparent, give them a call today just to say hi. Count yourself as lucky that you have them in your life.

Here We Go Again

2008-02-25T18:41:00.002-06:00

The white stuff...it keeps pouring down from the sky. Whatever Chicago did to deserve this beating... gods of inclement weather, I swear we didn't mean it! Please reward our endurance and patience with a loooong spring, gorgeous summer, and brilliant autumn (yes, I'm already thinking that far in advance) from your fellow seasonal gods.

In the meantime, here comes another 6-9 inches.

Boooring

2008-02-25T18:38:00.002-06:00

Hollywood's big night was one big snore. Jon Stewart was really the only remotely entertaining thing about it. I'm obviously not the only one who thought so since that seems to be the general consensus in every news article about it. And to hear that they were a ratings disaster is simply the end result.

Weekend Wrap-Up

2008-02-24T14:09:00.001-06:00

This weekend has been all about GNO’s. Friday Sales Girl and I tore up the strip in Edison Park, and once we’d done all the damage we could do there we proceeded on to Jeff Park along with a gaggle of other happy TGIFers. It was by far the most fun I’ve had in long time—evidenced by the touch of a hangover and lack of voice the following day.

Last night a bunch of us went out to the ‘burbs to support a friend’s band. Though the evening was more sedate than Friday, it was still a good time and I enjoyed catching up with the motley assortment of friends who turned out.

Due to a week of over-the-top indulgences, today’s agenda includes a bunch of nothing aside from some much-needed cleaning, laundry, and various and sundry other home-related chores. Now that I’m home more than I’ve been in the past 3.5 years, it’s amazing the amount of mess one person can create.

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The Crush has shown a new side of himself. One that I had previously used as an excuse to avoid taking whatever-it-is-we-have to the next level. In a word, it’s Ambition. Suddenly, he is the most ambitious person I know—and I have a feeling that if he puts his time and effort into some of these fab ideas of his, something big might just take off.

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In other Crush-related news, right around the time the new-found ambition came to light, there was a definite heightened level of interest on his part. The hard part of our existing relationship is the line between friendship and Something More is often blurred. So though the past few weeks have added more confusion to the mix, I’ve decided to live in the moment and relieve myself of any unnecessary over-thinking. I’m sure that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. In the meantime, I’m all about the fun.

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Today is the Big Day. In previous years, I treated it as a holiday of sorts, right down to a big bash and a countdown. This year? Not so much, Maybe it was the writer’s strike (thank god, that’s over!) or maybe it was the lack of the Golden Globes (the precursor to said holiday-like festivities), but this year’s Oscars just flew in under the radar for me. Plus, this is the first Academy Awards in a long, long time where I’ve seen only a (small) handful of the nominated movies. Looks as though this year’s viewing will be more about what I add to my NetFlix queue than rooting for a favorite.

Respite from the Cold

2008-02-21T17:12:00.003-06:00

Time has a way of slipping by. It's been almost a month now since Diva Niece moved. Aside from one call early into her trip where she told me all about "watching the sun go to sleep" at the beach, she's too in love with her new room and play areas and town to miss me too much. With the keen foresight to know that this would be a sore problem, on a half-whim I booked a trip out to see her. So not only will the Easter Bunny be visiting Diva Niece on March 22, but Auntie MoC will be out there, too.

The visit will come at a perfect time since this winter has been one of arctic proportions and I'll no doubt be ready for a little warmth and sunshine by then. I would prattle on about the well-above average amounts of snow and the treacherous black ice and the bitter cold, but it would only serve to anger me. And really, the subject is amazingly boring. I'm so done with winter in general and the topic of Chicago weather specifically.

With that said, I am sooooo ready for Spring to arrive. Who here isn't?

Nothing Like Being Prepared

2008-01-31T20:33:00.000-06:00

Dear Suburban Town I Call Home:

The news has been reporting today's storm for over a week. There should have been no surprise that we got the amount of snow that we did. So how is it possible that not one plow has been out? Not one ounce of salt thrown on the ground? Not one train platform cleared?

I understand it's cold and quite a mess and the last thing anyone wants to do is go out in this crap, but as a taxpayer I am really quite fed up with all of this. It's not as though this is the first time you have stuck it to us town citizens and I highly doubt it'll be the last.

Thanks and all,
MoC

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Dear Management Company:

I pay association fees so little things like snow removal are taken care of during these crazy winter months. Since you have not removed the snow, not one little shovel-full, in an expedient fashion--today and any other day that dumps more than an inch of snow on the ground--please advise if you will mind so very much if I keep that $200 a month and put it to better use.

Because really? I do mind so very much that you're taking my money and giving me nothing in return.

Bitterly (cold / yours),
MoC

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I'm hoping the upshot of trudging through today's mountain of snow is that my thighs and ass appreciate the impromptu workout.

I am also considering hiring some neighbor boy(s) to shovel. I think the meth house out back has several (able-bodied?) men who may be in the market for some day work. My association fee money in action.

The Beginning of Change

2008-01-27T10:50:00.000-06:00

I am, for the most part, one of those people who embrace change. It's not as though I'm out there looking for it, but it seems easier to accept it than fight it kicking and screaming.

Diva Niece moves to California in 4 days. This is one change that I'm finding hard to embrace. But denying it or disliking it isn't going to stop it from happening.

She doesn't understand that I'm not coming along with her. She doesn't understand that the only time she will see me in the next few months is via web cam. I know this because she tells me so.

It just breaks my heart.

Who Saw This One Coming?

2008-01-22T20:23:00.000-06:00

I surely didn't. Heath Ledger of all people? Really? Dead at 28... Such a shame.

The Low Hype Golden Globes

2008-01-14T13:36:00.000-06:00

I knew it was coming. I tried to prepare myself for it. No fabulous designer dresses. No champagne-swilling celebs. No long, occasionally drunk speeches. I knew, really, that this year the big kick-off of awards season would be the antithesis of all things Hollywood. And I thought I accepted it.

I boycotted the reading of the silly press release. Really, did anyone care what Billy Bush had to say? Instead, I found the list of winners and without much fanfare skimmed them, looking for where my kudos (Tina Fey) and jeers (there were several questionable judgments in my humble opinion) would have been placed had there been a real ceremony.

I thought I accepted all of this and would move on. I was wrong. I have a sense of loss. It wasn't just those stars who lost their chance to shine (and really, that should be enough...but since this is about me...), but it was also all of the fans (millions and millions) of the annual program that lost their one night of the year to indulge in a guilty pleasure.

I support the WGA. They're right for what they're fighting for. There couldn't have been a real ceremony due to picket lines actors refused to cross. I respect that as they stand in support of their writers. I do. But selfishly, I do worry about where this leaves us for the SAG awards or the Oscars. Can we really have a celebration of movies via a press release? Again? I fear not.

(Yes, shallow, I am aware. And a tad self-absorbed at times (like now). But I am one of the aforementioned concerned guilty-pleasure-seekers.)

Loose Ends

2008-01-13T09:45:00.000-06:00

Diva Niece's dad is home for the weekend befor returning to SoCal for week 2 of his new job. He made my day yesterday when he told me they would be living with the 'rents the last week of the month since they needed to give the movers a chance to drive their stuff across the country. I am already blocking off that week for plenty of time with the little one before she leaves for sunnier playgrounds.

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The big news I was waiting for this past week didn't really come as I was playing phone tag at the tail end of Friday with the person who was supposed to give me the big news. In anticipation that the news is what I suspect it could be, it's time for my mental pro/con list to be put on paper. The confusion of it all just gives me one big headache. It will also make for an interesting Monday.

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I am still coming to terms with the fact that our annual Golden Globes party has no reason to happen this year. So much for snarky comments and finger food. I fully support the writers and understand the strike and why the start of awards season is not just toned down but really quite nonexistent. But my entertainment-and love of finger food- is suffering here. Hollywood better be working on a solution for the Academy Awards.

Smokey Revenge

2008-01-10T11:05:00.000-06:00

Really?!? Being fired because you don't smoke? Crazy Berliners.

Side Job

2008-01-10T10:58:00.000-06:00

Working in a store, eh? Is that what they're calling it now...

Pushing Past the Post-Holiday Malaise

2008-01-08T22:21:00.000-06:00

Welcome 2008!

Over these glorious 8 days, I have been easing back into the work scene (boy, this first 5-day work week in over a month is going to be a tough one) and trying to stick to some of my "goals" for the new year (my Ballys card is still staring at me urging me to throw on the sweats and get my butt in gear tomorrow).

The first few days of the new year were spent enjoying every possible moment with Diva Niece. I'm sure there will be one, maybe two, times in the next few weeks when I will see her before she departs for California, but since I have no firm confirmation on that, the best I could do was front-load the month with time with her. Of course I enjoyed every last minute of it.

And then came this week. It's a big one as I'm waiting on news of something potentially fruitful.

And while I wait, I have been watching sadly as The (currently former) Crush heads down a path of self-destruction. I don't think he came out of the holidays so well and it's beginning to show. We all sometimes feel as though we have too much to bear in life, and sadly I think he has taken a fuck-all attitude about the entire thing. Over the past few days in particular I have become a visitor to his dark emotional state and a keeper of his equally dark thoughts. All of which is very UNsexy (but very scary), which has conveniently nipped in the bud any sort of existing lust. However, I am still deeply concerned about him.

On a much lighter note..

* No Golden Globes ceremony this year? As much as I support the writer's strike, I am a selfish person come awards seasion and I need an official kick-off and this is usually it. I bet Rumer Willis feels the same way, as this was to be her big Hollywood debut--to celebs and us regular schmoes watching at home--as Miss Golden Globe 2008. Poor Rumer. Whatever will she do?

* I heard a fantastic little snippet of gossip that The Mole is returning this summer (and with real people, not D-list celebs)!

Year In Review

2007-12-30T21:22:00.000-06:00

Pilfered from Feet Firmly Planted.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you have never done before?
Navigate the [dangerous] streets of Brazil successfully.

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I prefer the term "goals" over "resolutions," and yes, I did make them...and did not achieve all of them...but will likely take a stab at the whole goal-setting thing one more time.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, two or three people.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly, yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Italy, China, Germany, Brazil, and the island of St. Martin.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More Me Time!!

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
February 1 (loss of a dear friend and relative).
December 6 (the realization that my life needed a major overhaul--stat!)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving a very difficult work year with much of my self-worth still intact despite countless attacks to the contrary.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not sticking to the diet and exercise plan.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, thank god (and I'm continuing to knock on wood).

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A fantastic Italian leather handbag from one of Florence's leather markets.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My SIL who has made a huge effort to be friendlier.
My boss who has made a huge life change with only a mild amount of (weird) repercussions for the staff.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears...hell, the whole Spears family (with the exception of the mild-mannered brother who seems to avoid the limelight like an intelligent guy).

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage and credit card bills plus a few car repair bills that were slightly ginormous.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Crush's return.
My island vacation.
Some plans that may take effect in early '08.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
See The World (Gomez)
Clark Gable (The Postal Service)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? MORE MELACHOLY, BUT HAPPIER OVER ALL b) thinner or fatter? THE SAME c) richer or poorer? POORER

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spending time with friends, saying no, visiting the gym

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Traveling.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family, lavishing Diva Niece with fantabulous prezzies, hugs, and kisses.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Much to my chagrin, no.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Biggest Loser and Ugly Betty -- and if we can just give those writers their online dues, maybe I can go back to enjoying scripted programming again.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word. Dislike? Then the answer is yes. Just one. And hopefully it will be resolved on its own soon.

24. What was the best book you read?
Just one? Impossible! But I will cite Stolen Voices, The Washington Story, A Thousand Splendid Suns, and Eat, Pray, Love.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Guts, Golden Shoulders

26. What did you want and get?
Good health...and to finally visit Italy.

27. What did you want and not get?
To meet Prince Charming.

28. What was your favorite film of the year?
SuperBad was pretty great. So was Knocked Up.

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
Went to dinner with Rafferty to celebrate my 33rd year.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More money. It's a shallow answer, but a truthful one.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Classically, tastefully simple.

32. What kept you sane?
My friends--especially those who are slightly more off-kilter than I am.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Greg Kinnear continues to age with such grace. I'm also oddly fascinated with Seth Rogen and am happy that he is back after an extended absence after "Freaks & Geeks" met its demise.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Healthcare and reproductive rights

35. Who did you miss?
Stephen (and I still do miss him)

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Though I met her at the end of '06, I really got to know Rachel this year--and as a result have a new-found camaraderie with and respect for her.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Just because it looks like chocolate and smells like chocolate doesn't mean it is anything close to chocolate.

The Penultimate Day of the Year

2007-12-30T20:57:00.001-06:00

On this, the second to last day of 2007, I have found myself looking back and wondering just how well I succeeded in accomplishing some of the goals (not resolutions) I set for myself at the end of last year. A peek into the past 364 days has shown that even though I may have seeemingly forgotten about most of them, my subconscious was keeping score after all.

In the Wins column:

* I did take advantage of my travel opportunities and had the good fortune to spend extra time in Italy in March, taking a nice little minibreak to Florence. I also made it back to St. Martin for what was yet another fabulous island vacation.

* My inner domestic goddess was nurtured to the hilt. I cooked more than ever and found that my specialties include pies, quiches, and lasagna.

* Reading remained a big part of '07. My daily train rides to work and back make it possible to knock out a minimum of one book per week.

In the Losses column:

* Getting settled was but a pipe dream. More than 1.5 years into living in my condo and it still looks as though I recently moved in. A big clean-up/unpacking effort needs to take effect soon before I decide to just start pitching things in what I will surely later term a regrettably psychotic episode.

* Budget? What budget? In what has turned out to be an unfortunate turn to the other side, I find myself in a debt-laden life. Best to nip this in the bud in '08.

In the It's Still Happening (I Think) column:

* I'm continuing to try to work at those things I love.

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Brother, SIL, and Diva Niece officially move at the end of January. Bro's going-away party was last night, and I think he's actually viewing the entire move from a bittersweet standpoint. He and SIL left today for a week in San Diego to find a place to live "for the time-being." Diva Niece is currently residing at g'ma and g'pa's house, where she is whirring around like a mini-hurricane. I'm relishing spending time with her this week, as this will likely be the last opportunity for a long time. It's apparent just how attached we are, and I have a feeling the separation will be equally hard for the both of us. My heart should not be allowed to break like this.

Another Hollywood Marriage BItes the Dust

2007-12-28T14:24:00.000-06:00

And I really thought Sean and Robin would be the example of how to have a strong, happy marriage in Hollywood. Silly me.

I'm A Better Giver

2007-12-26T22:18:00.000-06:00

This was the year of the really good gifts. I like to think I'm an above-average gift-giver and this year I really nailed some of the must-have's. There's something about seeing the look of surprise or happiness cross one's face that makes the actual act of giving that much more fulfilling.

Upon returning from my fabulous island vacation, I learned the horrendous news that dear little Diva Niece was leaving me for a sunnier state. My brother's promotion came through, so he's packing up the family and heading to San Diego by the end of January.

Now, let's face it, there are far worse places to move (or visit), and I can't fault him that all of the pieces fell into place and he decided to make the move. But to tear me away from my mini-me? Devastating.

The only things that could even begin to repair this state of awfulness were web cams. One for Diva Niece and one for grandma and grandpa--and of course one for me! And though that was only the start of some good gifts, I would say that those were the ones that went over amazingly well. Well, at least for the adults. Diva Niece? I'm sure she would say her grocery cart and 117-piece fake food collection were much better gifts....for now.

Brit's Sister Plays Catch Up

2007-12-19T07:52:00.000-06:00

Why does this news not surprise me? Saddens me? Yes. But it's a far cry from surprising. I'm sure Mama Spears is so proud.

Brazil-Bound

2007-12-01T13:36:00.000-06:00

My two-week travel stint (and last business trip of 2007) begins this evening with a week in Sao Paulo. My year of hard work is about to see fruition. If I can get out, that is. The snow is falling at a pretty quick pace and I can only hope that O'Hare is able to keep up their end of the clean-up process.

There has been way too much going on with The Crush these days and though I am loathe to admit it, this trip is just the distance I need to put between us given the amount of bs drama that is surrounding us. I never thought I would embrace another business trip to Brazil, but the timing of this one makes this most certainly the case.

Bonus Prize for My Presence (Presents)

2007-11-18T19:54:00.000-06:00

I normally have a small amount of dread associated with baby showers and I know I'm not alone. The reason is simple: It feels like I have to be there--and they always tend to go on about 2 hours too long. With that said, it's always for a happy occasion and is therefore just one of those things that I grin and bear. These things are always made better by finding the kitschy fun in the silly games we play--and winning never hurts, too. So, today's baby shower was made especially good by the fact that I was the Big Winner of a random drawing that entitled me to a lovely gift basket that included, among other nice things, a good bottle of wine. There's the compensation I'm talkin 'bout.

No More Ho Ho Ho's Down Under

2007-11-15T20:46:00.000-06:00

This is by far the most entertaining thing I have heard all day.

Say It Ain't So

2007-11-15T20:34:00.000-06:00

My brother (and Diva Niece's dad) had an interview today for a great promotion in his company. Of course, I think he is very deserving of it. But there is a great cost to this promotion: The job is based in San Diego. Which is a fantastic place and all -- but sooooo far away for him to take my little Diva Niece! We're so fortunate to see each other often that my heart broke at the mere thought that she could be so far away.

And yes, I'm completely jumping the gun with this emotional leap. I know I should wait and see if he even gets the job before I go all flippy. Therefore, I am officially going into denial.

In Flux

2007-11-14T19:01:00.000-06:00

My subconscious has been telling me I have been in a dither over something (or lots of somethings) for several weeks now. I know it's bad when I start cooking. And boy, have I been cooking. I'm practically in the running for Miss Midwest Domestic Goddess. Unfortunately, I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to clear away the clutter (physical, mental, emotional) and find the source of this/these issue(s).

So my subconscious is giving me a kick in the pants- er, head really. The clutter in my professional and personal life has seeped into my dreams. Last night I dreamt that there were piles of luggage and lamps and boxes and, well, clutter throughout the foyer leading to my door. The door was ajar and as I clambered to reach it to shut it, I was tripping on all of this stuff and it was exasperating. I just wanted to kick it or toss or move it. And then the alarm went off.

Now I could be interpreting this all wrong (and that's likely), but it seems the [one] obvious message is that the internal me is drowning in clutter and needs to be saved. Either that, or perhaps the slightly open door is a sign that hope (or help) is near. Or, all of it just means I bought a place that has been too small since the first week I moved in. Yeah, that could be it, too.

Loss

2007-11-12T23:27:00.000-06:00

A former co-worker from a few years back and good friend got sacked today. She had seen it coming for well over a year and had made preparations for when this day arrived. We're having a Liberation From the French party this Saturday.

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A former beau/very good friend emotionally tackled me today so he could lament to me and be cared for. I don't know what it is about me, but there are a fair amount of men in my life (in whatever capacity) who come to me for comfort in these over-the-top times of need...which is creepy in this I'm-not-you're-mom way. His marriage of three years has not been going so well since, oh, day 1 (but I'm not the type to say I told you so) and due to a course of trivial events that occurred around Halloween, he's fairly certain his wife is intending to leave him. Without getting into too much detail, someone needs to leave someone because there are just too many bad issues in that troublesome union. The loss in this relationship happened before it probably ever really began, but what's especially sad is this is the third relationship in the past year amongst my friends to be in such dire trouble. Ack! To become another statistic...

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The man who sat next to me on the train tonight was the Good Doctor's doppelganger, and my heart ached just a little wondering what it's like in (and how he is liking) Kansas--and if he ever misses the Midwest and his [former] life here. Funny how the past has a way of reeling us back in when we least expect it.

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Time has a way of escaping me these days. It seems like my entire October was lost to world travel. Between an especially long stay in Berlin and a whirlwind week in Brazil, the entire month flew by in a flash and only now am I coming out of this work-addled haze to find that it's nearly mid-November.

The good news: Just a few more weeks before the thorn in my side is gone.

The excellent news: In less than a month I'll be on the beach in St. Martin sipping rum-filled cocktails.

Christmas Season Comes to Chicago

2007-11-02T10:17:00.000-06:00

It's no surprise that the Christmas season arrives earlier and earlier with each passing year. Hell, Walgreens had Christmas decorations up and about weeks before Halloween! Of course, our gluttonous consumerism and the greedy corporations that profit from the spendthrift nation add to the always-increasing commercialization of this holiday.

Lucky for me, I'm a big fan of Christmas and all of the festivities surrounding this time of year. And though I think it's despicable that the holiday season is trumping Thanksgiving and the Pilgrims and all of that good historical stuff, I do find it to be oddly exciting that our all-Christmas-music-all-the-time station has officially started playing holiday tunes as of today.

Despite the lack of a Christmas tree in Daley Plaza and no lights along Michigan Ave. and storefronts still bare of their holiday themes, it does appear as though as the Christmas season has begun in Chicago.

Bad Product Awards 2007

2007-10-30T08:10:00.000-06:00

I've been MIA for awhile, but what better way to jump back in than with something awards-related?

(*I do luuurve awards*)

These awards call out the makers of bad products on an international basis. My favorite special mentions include Coca-Cola, the bottlers of that special tap water called Dasani, and Japan's phramaceutical giant for their little sleeping-pills-for-kids campaign.

Although really? All of the bad products deserve to be singled out for their terrible-ness.

Surprising Rex

2007-09-27T12:29:00.000-05:00

Lovie finally wised up and demoted that schlub Grossman. A collective cry of happiness rang out throughout the city. Oddly enough, Rex admits he was surprised to learn of his demotion. Yes, surprised. Perhaps if he spent more time reflecting on his poor performances, he would've been prepared for the news. If nothing else, he'll now have more time on his hands for grooming those overly-plucked eyebrows of his.

Weekend Randomness

2007-09-23T20:39:00.000-05:00

Friday I decided to be uber-responsible both professionally and personally/financially and cancel my minibreak in Berlin, which would have taken place after my week of work over there in October. I know I'm going to be working weekends and extra-long hours for the remaining months of the year and I need to get back Stateside to start plugging away on action items from my South American marketing plan [which is slowly spinning out of control]. My friends think I'm slightly crazy, but seeing as this will save me several hundred dollars that can be applied to my December island vacation I'm Ok with the decision.

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I've managed to avoid the domesticity that are Pampered Chef parties--until Friday night, that is. To support a co-worker, I drove out to the middle of nowhere to her gorgeous home and made small talk with judgmental soccer mom's (yes, being single and childless at this particular juncture has been at least 75% my choice). Thank god the Traveling Vineyard lady was there, too. And, because I have a hard time saying no to overpriced kitchen gadgets, I walked away spending close to $75, which is technically a cheap night if the prices in the catalog are any guideline.

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After doing a 5k charity walk last weekend, J and I decided to do one every Saturday morning...for our ass's charity. The upside is we can catch up weekly in person (which has proven a difficulty since my move over a year ago). The downside is early Saturday mornings (like, 8am early) will be difficult on those Friday nights that occasionally quickly turn into early Saturday mornings. Oh, who am I kidding. It's more than just occasionally.

Week 1 of this new (personal) charity walk was quite refreshing once I woke up.

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Adorable Diva Niece spied me yesterday at my parents' house, booked right past her grandparents as she walked in the door for her 2-day stay, and jetted over to me, screaming my name. There are few greater feelings than being adored that unconditionally. To repay the show of affection, I got up extra early this morning to go over and spend some quality time with her, which made for lots of early morning shrieks and countless twirling around and falling down playing Ring Around the Rosie, which is far more exhausting in your 30's than, say, when you're 2.

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Somehow my camera battery just up and died. It was working fine when I downloaded some pictures a couple weeks ago, but when I went to turn it on today nothing happened. It's been charging for the past 4 hours and it's no closer to holding a charge than it was at the beginning of the day. I'm not sure how it happened, but it pisses me off and now it means a trip to Best Buy to make good on my warranty. I'm not a big fan of dealing with customer service people who try to find loopholes in the warranties they sold you. Fingers crossed I get a competent one.

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I *heart* Indian Summer!

Those Bleeping Fox Execs

2007-09-18T21:39:00.000-05:00

The Fox network hosted one of the most sedate Emmys I've watched in a long time. Ryan Seacrest was benign in his role as host. There were a lot of silly upsets (in my humble opinion). And that damn theatre in the round... well, whoever came up with that idea is probably lining up for the dole right now.

That aside, what about the censors? And those poor cameramen forced to cut away to an enlarged ugly globe? Why not just bleep out the "naughty" word rather than cut away entirely? It seems as though Fox execs were a little too rash in their censorship judgment.

Consider:

Since when is "screwed" a naughty word too vulgar to be aired on primetime? We can show people simulating sex or greatly insinuating lots and lots of sex all over network TV, but to say the word "screw" is forbidden?

Same with the profane "goddamn." Is it really that awful? Or was it just Sally Field's war comments that were considered a bit too forward?

(By the by, I so dislike when celebrities use the podium as a forum to air their hot button opinions and get all riotious on viewers asses. Sit down, for gods sake, and drag your soap box outside the awards ceremony. It's all about time and place.)

This sort of censorship seems as though it's getting a bit too over the top, and I'm starting to wonder what agenda is being worked where...and why. I mean, c'mon people, it's an awards show.

59th Annual Primetime Emmys: Picks & More

2007-09-16T13:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight's the night. The 2007/08 Awards Season begins! I'll be watching all red carpet coverage and the event itself at the annual Emmy party I attend wondering how o how I can get myself involved in this fun awards evening. Not nearly as pretentious as the Oscars but still full of glitz, a little glam, and a whole lot of celebs. Love it!

My picks are always, off, but here's who I am hoping will take home an Emmy in the following categories:

(Oh, how wrong can one person be? I was laughably off, with nearly all of my picks failing to see fruition.)

Outstanding Comedy Series
30 Rock
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty

Lord knows that I adore 30 Rock, but Ugly Betty is really quite good. I'm so on the fence and would love for either of them to win, but since there can only be one winner, I'm going Ugly on this one.

Oustanding Directing (Comedy)
30 Rock
Entourage
Extras
Scrubs
The Office
Ugly Betty

To be blunt, it doesn't matter to me. But since I picked Ugly Betty earlier, I'll go 30 Rock on this one.

Outstanding Directing (Drama)
Battlestar Galactica
Boston Legal
Friday Night Lights
Heroes
Lost
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
The Sopranos

Here's the thing of it it: There's so much buzz about Heroes that I'm sure it will win...or maybe The Sopranos since it's its last hoorah. But the one show that was always consistently fantastic (and it's such a shame it's off the air now) is Studio 60. Alas, it's doubtful it'll win, so I'm back to going for Heroes even though I've never ever watched one episode.

Oustanding Directing (Miniseries)
Broken Trail
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Jane Eyre
Prime Suspect: The Final Act
Tsunami, The Aftermath

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. It got so much buzz, I wouldn't doubt it's popularity.

Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program
American Idol
SNL
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Tony Bennett Special

Jon Stewart. All the way.

Outstanding Drama Series
Boston Legal
Grey's Anatomy
Heroes
House
The Sopranos

Grey's is my pick...with a second choice of Boston Legal. I'd be happy with either of those, even though Sopranos and Heroes are both strong contenders.

Outstanding Lead Actor (Comedy)
Alec Baldwin -- 30 Rock
Ricky Gervais -- Extras
Tony Shalhoub -- Monk
Steve Carell -- The Office
Charlie Sheen -- Two and a Half Men

Love them all. Seriously. But Alec Baldwin is amazing in his role.

Outstanding Lead Actor (Drama)
Kiefer Sutherland -- 24
James Spader -- Boston Legal
Hugh Laurie -- House
Denis Leary -- Rescue Me
James Gandolfini -- The Sopranos

In my humble opinion, it should be Spader. Oh, James, how I adore thee! However, it's very likely James Gandolfini will take it.

Outstanding Lead Actor (Miniseries)
Robert Duvall -- Broken Trail
Tom Selleck -- Jesse Stone: Sea Change
Jim Broadbent -- Longford
William H. Macy -- Nightmares & Dreamscapes
Matthew Perry -- The Ron Clark Story

I guess I'll go with William H. Macy...because he's just fab.

Oustanding Lead Actress (Comedy)
Tina Fey -- 30 Rock
Felicity Huffman -- Desperate Housewives
Julia Louis-Dreyfus -- New Adventures of Old Christine
America Ferrera -- Ugly Betty
Mary-Louise Parker -- Weeds

America it is.

Outstanding Lead Actress (Drama)
Sally Field -- Brothers & Sisters
Mariska Hargitay -- L&O: SVU
Patricia Arquette -- Medium
Kyra Sedgwick -- The Closer
Minnie Driver -- The Riches
Edie Falco -- The Sopranos

It will probably go to Edie, and I don't feel strongly enough to much care about another winner.

Outstanding Lead Actresss (Miniseries)
Queen Latifah -- Life Support
Helem Mirren -- Prime Suspect
Mary-Louise Parker -- The Robber Bride
Debra Messing -- The Starter Wife
Gena Rowlands -- What If God Were the Sun

I like Debra Messing. I'm not sure how I felt about her Ponds-sponsored miniseries over the summer. But she was trying something different, and for that she'll be my pick.

Outstanding Made for TV Movie
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Inside the Twin Towers
Longford
The Ron Clark Story
Why I Wore Lipstick to My Matectomy

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. It got a lot of buzz. I wonder if I can NetFlix it.

Outstanding Miniseries
Broken Trail
Prime Suspect
The Starter Wife

I don't know much about the first two, so by defaiult I'll go with Starter Wife, even though I'm pretty sure Robert Duvall will make Broken Trail a shoo-in.

Outstanding Individual Performance (Variety or Musical)
Ellen Degeneres -- Academy Awards
David Letterman -- Late Show
Stephen Colbert -- Colbert Report
Jon Stewart -- The Daily Show
Tony Bennett -- An American Classic

I thought Ellen did a stand-up job for the Academy Awards and it would be refreshing to see her win. It's probably not the best choice, but I never claimed to make sound decisions when it comes to my picks for awards shows (gootball picks -- now that's something to be taken far more seriously).

Outstanding Reality Show
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
The Amazing Race
Top Chef

Amazing Race. Absolutely.

Outstanding Supporting Actor (Comedy)
Jeremy Piven -- Entourage
Kevin Dillon -- Entourage
Neil Patrick Harris -- How I Met Your Mother
Rainn Wilson -- The Office
Jon Cryer -- Two and Half Men

All excellent and that's what makes it so hard. But I really have to go with Doogie. NPH is too fantastic as Barney not to get my vote.

Outstanding Supporting Actor (Drama)
William Shatner -- Boston Legal
T.R. Knight -- Grey's Anatomy
Masi Oka -- Heroes
Terry O'Quinn -- Lost
Michael Emerson -- Lost
Michael Imperioli -- The Sopranos

I love T.R. and Shatner is great as Denny Crane, but I think Imperioli should get it.

Outstanding Supporting Actor (Miniseries)
Thomas Haden Church -- Broken Trail
Aidan Quinn -- Bury My Heart ay Wounded Knee
August Schellenberg -- Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Ed Asner -- The Christmas Card
Joe Mantegna -- The Starter Wife.

Joe Mantegna gets my vote

Outstanding Supporting Actress (Comedy)
Jaime Pressly -- My Name is Earl
Jenna Fischer -- The Office
Conchata Ferrell -- Two and Half Men
Holland Taylor -- Two and a Half Men
Vanessa Williams -- Ugly Betty
Elizabeth Perkins -- Weeds

How could Ms. Williams not win?

Outstanding Supporting Actress (Drama)
Rachel Griffiths -- Brothers & Sisters
Sandra Oh -- Grey's Anatomy
Chandra Wilson -- Grey's Anatomy
Katherine Heigl -- Grey's Anatomy
Lorraine Bracco -- The Sopranos
Aida Turturro -- The Sopranos

All of these nominees are fantastic women, but I adore Chandra Wilson.

Outstanding Supporting Actress (Miniseries)
Greta Scacchi -- Broken Trail
Anna Paquin -- Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Samantha Morton -- Longford
Judy Davis -- The Starter Wife
Toni Collette -- Tsunami

Anna Paquin seems like a good choice. She was a gifted kid and I'm sure she's just as talented as a young adult.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Late Show with David Latterman
Real Time with Bill Maher
The Colbert Report
Daily Show with Job Stewart.

Jon Stewart and his team get my vote.

Here Comes Autumn

2007-09-11T21:41:00.000-05:00

In Chicago a sure sign that Fall is around the corner isn't just the morning chill in the air but also the boisterous oompah band hailing the forthcoming Oktoberfest activities on the Madison St. bridge. Oh the hooplah this morning! Autumn is fast approaching.

Depreciation

2007-09-10T20:24:00.000-05:00

I met the resident real estate agent, DP Mary, in the laundry room this evening--and she effectively saddened the mood of the night. During our conversation she mentioned that the units currently for sale in the building aren't selling because they're over-priced for the market. I casually asked what the (supposedly outrageous) average asking price was--and she stated a dollar amount $5k less than mine was sold at. The look on my face must've given away my suddenly sour mood because she said, "Oh sure, things have devalued by about 15% since you bought." Not what I wanted to hear. I know the market has its ups and downs, but you never want to think something you're living in is rapidly depreciating.

How Does THIS Happen?

2007-09-06T09:14:00.000-05:00

Who was the brainless fool who made this "mistake?"

A definite career-stopper of a move.

Little Annoyances

2007-08-31T17:56:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's because we work closely and maybe it's because we spend more than a fair amount of time together socially, but whatever the reason PR Waif is one person who can try my last good nerve. Usually, I'm quite capable of taking a deep breath, counting to ten, and letting the moment pass, but in the past week things have been taken to a new level of annoyance.

Let's review some of her perky, wrong, and/or frustratingly ridiculous comments:

"This is crostini. It's like bruschetta, only warm."
Referring to an appetizer at a business dinner earlier in the week.

PR Waif: "I go horseback riding all the time."
Colleague: "Really? I didn't know that about you."
PR Waif: "Sure! But yesterday was the first time in several years."
Overheard in the office.

Me [to a mutual friend]: "Sure, leave it to you to be the only one laughing [at that comment]."
PR Waif: "I'm laughing." [clearly not laughing]

Colleague: "I think I'm going to have the salad."
PR Waif: "Ugh. I'm sick of the salad. Plus, it always makes me so full."
Me: "I've been craving this salad all week. It may be filling, but not as much as their sandwiches."
PR Waif: "I'm getting that salad, too."

PR Waif [to a mutual friend]: "Oh, you're finally starting to stand-up in weddings! Just wait and see how much of a money drain it can be."
Mutual Friend: "Yeah, I know. This isn't the first one I've been in."
PR Waif: "Oh yeah? Like, how many have you been in? I'm in four in 2008."

PR Waif: "Did Customer call you any time recently? He's really pissed."
Me: "Yeah, he left me a couple messages. And we've had numerous email exchanges. He's also been pestering Colleague. What's his problem now?"
PR Waif: "MoC, he's really pissed off. Why do I bother doing my job if you guys always drop the ball?"
Let it be known: No ball was dropped; Customer is just melodramatic and this is his "thing."

I need a serious break from PR Waif. Just being in her presence for more than a few minutes irks me. And I hate that because she can be a very thoughtful, sweet girl. It's just that annoying je ne sais quoi surrounding her that gets me each and every time. Nothing a little break can't fix, though. Too bad there's no "break" any time in the near future. I need a buffer so very badly before I say something I really mean but shouldn't say.

My Favorite Small Town

2007-08-28T20:37:00.000-05:00

Galena is one of my very favorite small towns. It's rich in history and is just as cute as a button. There's something about it that's very wholesome and relaxing.

The first time I visited the town, it was a decade ago with one of my good friends over Valentine's Day weekend. We were both on a "break" from our boyfriends and decided we needed to get away. We stayed at Longhollow Point Inn, which is no longer around from what I'm told, and had a cold but enjoyable introduction to the town.

Subsequent trips were with friends for extra-long weekends (which occasionally ran even longer, depending on how much fun we were having), where we usually stayed at Stony Creek Inn. During those years, several of my friends who grew up in that area had moved back and were working in town, so these visits included lots of house parties with the locals. They're good people and can throw a mean after-party.

After 10 years of visits, this time around I stayed at Eagle Ridge and had only one friend in town whose schedule completely clashed with my own. Oh, times have changed.

Not only is the town a bit more...updated (gone are half of the antique shops and in their place are some cute specialty shops and a much-needed variety of restaurants), but I stayed at the "good" resort; the place everyone associates with Galena. And I have to say, though the inn lobby is cozy and the grounds are gorgeous, my room left much to be desired right down to the outdoor entry, the dated decor, and the endless supply of big ugly spiders, swarms of mosquitos and biting flies in the room. I hear the rooms in the inn were nice, though. I wish I could've had one of those.

A highlight of the trip (aside from noting how much the town has changed in the past few years) was meeting Jamie, the sassy owner of the Wine Studio. Her tastings are one of a kind and she has the best international goods stateside. Seriously good stuff. Visit her if you're ever in town.

Though the main purpose of the trip was business, I couldn't help but carve out time to visit my favorite stores (and bars) and acquaint myself with the new offerings (including bars). It was a successful trip from all angles.

Saturday Happenings

2007-08-25T14:42:00.001-05:00

One can accomplish a lot when getting up at 7:30 am on a Saturday (who knew?). Take, for instance, my full day (and it's still early yet):

Made egg cups...

...and boy were they a yummy breakfast treat!

Went out to my car to start the day's errands and came across this sight.

Luckily, it missed landing on the cars that ordinarily would be parked in back of my spot -- and the meth house next door.

Swung by Carson's for my favorite quad-annual holiday: Clinique Days. Picked up some hot lipsticks and my freebies.

Had THE BEST EVER Brazilian wax here. The owner is the nicest lady and the best aesthetician. Unfortunately, the storm knocked their power out earlier in the week so they were operating on generators meant only for the wax area and the hair stations...so my much anticipated pedi had to be re-scheduled for next week. Bummer.

Hit Walgreens for some sundries (well, it was meant to be two sundries and turned into an entire armful. My senseless spending gets out of control whenever I walk in there--and I usually walk out wondering why o why I thought I needed beef jerky or candles or new pens).

And now here I am with plenty of day and night remaining. Still up on the day's docket: packing for Galena and some recipe-searching for tonight's dinner. Maybe some Entourage-watching. Definitely some sleeping since the Galena Express carpool is swinging by awfully early for me tomorrow.

Water-Logged in Chicago

2007-08-24T12:26:00.001-05:00

I like rain. Sometimes it's ideal for those pensive days or cozy evenings and occasionally welcome after large stretches of enormous Midwest heat. But what we've had the past week has exceeded even my tolerance. Someone in Chicago pissed off the rain gods, and oh boy they were angry.

Last night's storm interrupted every commuter's trip home and caused countless episodes of damage throughout the entire Chicagoland area. I was one of the lucky ones. My electricity stayed on--and being a condo owner, I didn't have to worry about water in the basement. My car did not have any trees fall on it, and aside from wading through the crosswalks on my way home from the train even my street remained relatively water-free.

I, on the other hand, didn't fare quite as well. I naturally forgot my umbrella and was caught in the heaviest of the downpours, lightning strikes and all. Peeling off my clothes as I walked in the door, all I could do was give thanks that I hadn't dressed up and worn fantastic shoes that day, which surely would've been ruined during the walk home.

This morning brought a whole other view. The storms overnight passed and it looked like a war zone. Large branches everywhere...and the river. Oh my god, the river is just massively overflowing. The access road running alongside of it is completely washed out, with standing water coming up to the road signs. Sand bags didn't help that road or the people that live off of it.

Chicagoans have rallied and pulled together. Moving trees, helping out neighbors. We do it all. But Jesus, please, enough already! It's time for the rain to go away so we can enjoy the last remaining weeks of summer before our forever-long winter comes back.

Canasta Auf Deutsche

2007-08-22T22:35:00.000-05:00

Playing Canasta with the Germans. That's how I spent my evening. You'd think I was 80 and whooping it up in a Florida seniors home. But no, I was celebrating a 12-year-olds birthday with sushi, the yummiest berry cake, and a couple of rousing games of cards (I had to be taught how to play, of course). Odd? Maybe. Good times? Hell yeah.

During one of the games, CC turned to me and casually mentioned that she rented her duplex in record time and therefore will be moving to NC much sooner than either of us expected.

Though I'm thrilled for her and her hubby (after all, this move will be good for him career-wise and NC is only an AA flight away--and how nice will that be come March, when the winter doldrums are in full swing?) and am well aware that the move is intended to be for only 2 or so years, I guess I never realized how awful the prospect of saying good-bye would be--especially with it seeming just like yesterday when we all welcomed her and her hubby back home (has it really been 4 years?).

Saying good-bye to dear friends just sucks. And even worse: as of right now it appears as though I may be in Germany (yes, of all places...though it's doubtful I'll be playing Canasta with any locals) when they leave town.

So now this news will forever be associated with Canasta. Somehow, it all seems too fitting.

Read a Little

2007-08-22T13:53:00.000-05:00

The survey that spurned this article had to have made people reflect on their lives, right? One in four people didn't read a single book last year? I'm so happy I'm a reader.

Amazing Exit Strategy

2007-08-20T14:11:00.001-05:00

How lucky that a huge air disaster was averted thanks to a speedy evacuation. I wonder if they'll ever get to the bottom of what caused this explosion...and why exactly China Airlines is plagued with tragedy.

Week in Brazil

2007-08-18T17:47:00.000-05:00

Doing business in Brazil is much different than anywhere else. Maybe it's because it's an emerging country or maybe it's just because most business people with whom I've dealt have that "it can wait 'til tomorrow" attitude. Whatever it is, it's made the past month leading up to my important week in Sao Paulo frustrating and amazingly busy.

Adventure #2 in Sao Paulo beat my first journey to the country's seat of business, which wasn't really hard to do. This time around my days were spent fighting traffic that makes Chicago's rush hour look like a drive down a deserted country road. The city is one big traffic nightmare and no amount of planning ahead to get from one end of the sprawling city to the other ensures timely arrivals to sales meetings, evening commitments, and various other team meetings (even when leaving 2 hours between appointments).

Despite sketchy logistics and regular schedule upheavals (all of which were beyond annoying), the trip was a good one, worthwhile from a number of sales and promotional standpoints, and will surely aid my work in the months ahead.

In addition to enjoyable evenings out with co-workers and an amazingly successful evening reception at the Institut Tomie Ohtake, I was treated to two wonderful wonders of Brazil: fantastic cuisine coupled with impeccable service...and hot Brazilian men. Both made up for the stresses of the daily grind.
Though the week was productive on several levels, I was more than happy to return home this morning. To be met with a rainy, cool day was a nice treat as well since I'm too exhausted to even think of enjoying any outdoor activity right now.

So...a quiet evening vegging on the couch and catching up on NetFlix rentals is what's in store for me. I couldn't be happier right now.

The Complexities of a "Post-Relationship" Relationship

2007-07-26T22:04:00.000-05:00

DXB is just that for a reason. Four years ago our not so short union ended. It wasn't a nasty or emotional split. It was rather mutual in nature and, having been friends for many, many years before dating, we reverted back into a seemingly normal, only slightly odd friendship.

Right. For the first two months of singledom from each other. Until his rebound relationship insisted he choose a friendship with me or dating her. To his credit, he thought on it. He even presented the issue to me; laid it out there complete with pros and cons. The hitch of it all was simple: If he chose the relationship, he had to break all ties with me. Needless to say, when he told me he had to give it a shot with her and he was saying sayonara to me, I told him quite plainly, "You'll regret this down the road." It wasn't meant as a threat. I just knew it to be true. She wasn't a keeper.

Cut to a year later and who should be calling me right and left but DXB. It was then much as it is now--predictable. Like clockwork, I could predict when the calls would come. Because I'm not one to shatter relationships, I let months go by without picking up or returning a call--until the day when an unfortunate incident occurred for him and it was only appropriate to speak.

And then it just sort of happened. He broke up with the girl (not because of me), and one would think we would go back to exploring a friendship--the one that was only abandoned for a year. But no. He didn't know how to take back the decision he made, and I didn't think it was my place to correct his mess.

Instead, what we have now is this odd little relationship full of amazing complexities. Many times we have great long talks and amazing nights out. Of course there is still a connection on countless levels. Other times, he is frustratingly awkward, as though he has no idea what to say to me; as though he was never my friend. What is especially maddening is the fact that we are both notorious for having stellar friendships with our ex's. So where's the trouble here?

Last night DXB called--with absolutely nothing to say. If he was in front of me, I would've shaken him. I have come to the point where it just feels as though something, regardless of how flip, needs to be said. Something along the lines of, "You're not bound to that 'promise' you made to that girl anymore. You know that, right?"

I know him. Over a decade of knowing him makes him an easy read for me. He's afraid of something (maybe more than one something), but exactly what remains elusive to me.

I'm not really sure why this matters so much to me, but it does. We are not good as committed partners, but as friends? We were pretty great a good portion of the time. I can count far more good times than bad together, and I know he agrees. So. This could be my new project: a situation to resolve. It feels as though something needs to be done. And he would rather have years of ridiculous awkwardness than be the one to go out on the limb and make the first step towards clearing the air.

Always a woman's work, I tell ya. The fixer of all wrongs.

My New Guilty Pleasure

2007-07-26T21:17:00.000-05:00

This is the best mindless bit of entertainment I've run across all summer.

Pimp This Ride

2007-07-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

Every time I take my car into the local auto shop, they're kind enough to throw in a free loaner car.

Don't be jealous but I've been tooling around town in this hot Neon (ca. 1991) for the past few days.

I know. Sweet ride, right?

You can't imagine how much attention I'm getting.... I wonder why...

This Is Our Future?

2007-07-25T12:22:00.000-05:00

It's not news to me that today's young celebs aren't instilling much hope for the future. But when is the bad behavior going to end?

First, Lindsay falls off the wagon and then lies poorly when caught. Then, Britney proves that she is exactly the trash we thought she was all along.

When is someone going to shake these girls and explain to them that what they're doing is unattrative, humiliating, and fodder for so many people to drag their already tattered name through the mud?

Through every disgraceful act, they beg for privacy. They should stop doing such mind-blowingly stupid things- at least out of the public eye- and maybe then they'd get the privacy they'd like.

In the meantime, I'm convinced these are big signs the herd needs to be thinned.

Festa, Here I Come

2007-07-21T11:40:00.000-05:00

Off to Milwaukee for Festa and a visit with Spinelli. Not a good way to stay out of trouble, but certainly an excellent way to remain highly entertained and surely a good use of a gorgeous summer weekend.

My Cupcake Obsession

2007-07-21T10:53:00.000-05:00

I have long loved cupcakes. This passion has existed for close to 30-some-odd years, well before it became the trendy treats of today's celebs.

I have been on this cupcake binge this summer. Not eating them...making them. I am obsessed, and I really have no idea why. Needless to say, on any given weekend I am surrounded by more cupcakes than I know what to do with. My friends and coworkers, of course, are loving the Polly Homemaker me.

In a moment of insane desperation, I introspectively turned on myself and I think I've found where all of this stems: I am not satisfied with any batch that's made. It's simply not the kind want. And after some soul searching I have figured out what soul food I need to kick this ridiculous obsession: chocolate chip cupcakes.

Back in 1984-85, it was my favorite kind of cupcake. Betty Crocker or Pillsbury (not sure which) had this amazing mix with a matching frosting. It was better than words can even describe. I remember bringing them to school for the birthday treat, and everyone loved them. My favorite cupcakes were a hit!

And then they went away. Mom stopped making them on special occasions and I actually sort of forgot about them until this odd little obsession sparked deep within me. I have looked high and low at all the local stores and cannot find this variety of cupcake. Mom thinks they stopped making them a loooong time ago, and that hurts. It's like this tiny happy little part of my childhood has disppeared.

So there is only one solution: Make my own. Hopefully that will put an end to the crazy baking and I can go back to just enjoying my lovable passion for the little cakes. Though I will do my very best to improvise and recreate the yummy treat, I first need to come to terms with the simple fact that some things never stay the same.

I'm Not Your Mom

2007-07-15T09:50:00.000-05:00

The past two weeks or so, an important ex-flame, the ever-present DXB, and two crushes crawled out of the woodwork. Though surely just a fluke (god, I hope so), it's given me the opportunity to reflect on why I haven't had much luck as of late in finding a good, relatively normal, very decent man with whom I can spend a bit of priceless quality time.

And I think I found my answer. It can be summed up so easily: The men I tend to date- many of them- have mother issues. They either have controlling moms or needy moms or moms that were never a part of their lives. Moms who love me too much or- more often than not- moms who think I am a bad influence on their baby (man, how is that possible? They don't even know their own son...). They either want to rebel against their mom, or make their mom very happy. Essentially, I am either the punishment or the prize.

In turn, these well-meaning, good-intentioned men (for all intents and purposes) have a little too much of their moms in them. Whether it's passive-aggressive behavior, too verbose conversations, general game-playing of an ilk with which I am not even familiar (but which is often associated with my gender), running from the slightest hint of commitment or running towards it full steam ahead, over-analyzing every god forsaken conversation or action, or- yes, I am really going to go there- cuddling far too much (please, please, please give me my personal space when I am sleeping!)...I want to scream, ""I'M the woman in this relationship. Man up!"

And there you have it. My problem. I can bend, but not that far. I don't want to be especially maternal to an adult man. I am not the Mom here. I am the one who your mother loves too much or not enough. I am the one that is judged by moms. I am not the one with whom you should displace anger or angst. I am not the one to punish you for years of bad behavior towards the woman who gave birth to you or the one you use to punish her for years of overbearing behavior. Your mother has no place in our relationship. Not until you put a ring on my finger and she is now my cross to bear as well.

And this is one of the big-big reasons I am perpetually single. A momma's boy in a tough boy's skin... A manly man whose mother emotionally broke him... An apathetic, emotionally starved guy... The men who are drawn to me are broken. They require something they think I have to fix them. Or that maybe by dating me they will become automatically whole again. I don't know why they are under this incredibly incorrect assumption, but they are. I'm good, but I'm not that good.

No one is perfect. We all come with some baggage. Just not as much as the yahoos that like me. I'm fairly convinced all of the good, relatively normal, I-have-problems-but-can-deal-with-them-just-fine-because-they're-ones-we-all-have-and-it's-not-all-my-mom's-fault-and-you-don't-need-to-replace/fix/be-her men are taken. Or complaining about women with father issues. That's possible, too. Maybe we all need to make concessions...or just trudge on, confident there are many more someones out there for us.

To Each Their Own

2007-07-10T13:16:00.000-05:00

I'm not quite sure who would want Tori Spelling to officiate their wedding,but apparently that person is in luck.

Just Like Danny Deckchair

2007-07-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

Saw this and couldn't help but think of the Aussie flick.

The 80's Movie That Makes Me Cry

2007-07-09T21:45:00.001-05:00

So tonight I was watching "She's Having a Baby," that great John Hughes flick starring Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern (whatever happened to her, anyway?). I love it for its Chicago link and the ultimate 80's everything that runs through it. I've seen it more times than I can count, and I always cry at the same place each time. The first strains of "This Woman's Work" plays and Kate Bush starts singing and I am a teary mess. And an amazingly young Kevin Bacon shedding a tear? Just moves me to pieces.

Ok, so I'm PMS'd and could probably tear up over just about anything today. But there's also something about cheesey 80's movies that holds a special little place in my heart.

Good for the Head

2007-07-09T12:57:00.000-05:00

This is promising news. Leave it to the fine folks of Switzerland to commericalize this pioneering new treatment.

Summer Pub Crawl 2007: Recap

2007-07-08T16:31:00.000-05:00

Boozapalooza was a hot, sticky affair thanks to Chicago's lovely summer weather. Our party came near to wilting in the oppresive humidity but we soldiered on, hitting all of the designated pre-dinner bars, filling up with cool libations and then sweating them out as we trudged to the next establishment. We no doubt looked a sticky, sorry sight. But at least we all looked it.

Chicago's German staple for schnitzel, sausages, and sauerkraut--and that gigantic boot of beer--was a fine spot for dinner and dancing with German ex-pats to the musical stylings of the resident oompah band, and then it would have been off to Carol's for some end-of-the-night trolling-of-sleazy-bars--except Carol's was closed. Just as well since sleazy wasn't my thing last night. A bunch of us chose Huettenbar across the street as the location for our nightcap, and a fine place it was for an end to a fine day.

The festivities were really quite fun and made me realize just how much I enjoy this group of friends. Such a lucky girl am I. I can only hope there will be many more enjoyable group outings before CC moves back east and takes her party planning with her.

Sundry Items from the Week

2007-07-07T09:21:00.001-05:00

Job Losses and Promotions: That's the way the cookie crumbles

* This week the revolving door twirled on, taking with it our amazingly organized and insightful Operations Manager. I'm not really sure why.

* Our marketing coordinator was promoted to marketing manager. No one is quite certain- herself included- what her new job responsibilities will be since she's not really doing anything manager-worthy, but I'm sure that will all be sorted out. She's a bright girl and I like her a lot so I'm trying not to listen to the rumors about her simply complaining about her job and therefore getting promoted.

* Because of my years of loyal service (all three and counting), I was given a title change--to Senior Marketing Manager. Though I think it's well-deserved (and a long time coming), I am well aware this change was made only because a 23-year-old was about to be made my equal and that wouldn't fly in our company our with any of our partners.

Medical Insurance 101

I decided to break up with my old doctor and find a new one. Michele and I had been seeing each other for 12 years. Sometimes change is good. Plus, I didn't feel like driving into Oak Park every time I needed to see her. I decided to pseudo-cheat on her, trying out a new doctor before I ended things for good.

I'm happy I chose to take this path because things went horribly wrong. Months ago, I had checked on the Blue Cross Blue Shield web site to see if the doctor recommendation a friend had given was under my insurance. It was. Score! I called to make an appointment--and double-checked again at that point, verifying they accepted my insurance. Oh yes, MoC, of course. Wonderful! I arrived on Monday eager to meet someone who was about the see a lot of me.

This is where things go horribly wrong. As I am completing the copious new patient forms, the receptionist is supposed to be making copies of my insurance card. For the first 15 minutes, she's gossiping with co-workers and then decides to even look at my card. At which point she barks my name, and up I go to chat with Ms. Snottypants.

Ms. S: Ummm, we have a problem.

MoC: Ok...

Ms. S [throwing insurance card]: We don't accept this insurance.

MoC: Well, the BSBC web site sure says you do. And I double-checked when I made my appointment.

Ms. S: You couldn't have. We haven't accepted this insurance for, like, 3 years.

MoC: For "like" 3 years for 3 years? And either way, I know what I saw online and what the answer was when I asked three months ago.

Ms. S: Well, I don't know what you want me to tell you. I just know we do not accept this insurance...But, if you'd like to still see the doctor, that's fine. But you need to pay out of pocket.

At which point I politely thank her for wasting my time, collected my belongings and left. She can do what she wishes with my half-completed medical history.

Once in the parking garage, I dialed Michele and made an appointment with the lovely ladies that work the reception desk there. Sometimes change isn't all it's cracked up to be. That drive to Oak Park might be worth it after all.

Acquaintance Overload

A couple weeks ago, a former friend/current acquaintance IM'd me at work and asked if I'd like to do lunch. It was her last day before going on maternity leave and I felt bad that I had plans...but not too bad because she's one of those people that once you get past pleasantries there is nothing to talk about. I declined but told her that once she'd had the baby, I'd grab my best friend (and her good friend) and come over with lunch so we could catch up and see the baby. Seemed fair enough. I mentioned this to J and she was cool with it, too. We still had weeks, I figured, before she would want to see us.

Wrong. J called me and asked if I'd like to meet her and Former Friend for a casual dinner. Though seeing Former Friend wasn't my idea of a great night out, it was close to my house so why not? I wish wish wish I would've come up with a why not! It was a miserable experience. Former Friend is a miserable person! J and I arrived around the same time and Former Friend flagged us down as she was stuffing salad and soup into her mouth. With roughage still in her mouth, she urged us to sit down and said something about her thinking we wouldn't be eating so she had ordered. What?!?! She was snotty and rude and just all wrong through the entire meal. When she called her husband to come collect her, I said a silent thank-you to my guardian angel who was probably crying in pain as well. When Former Friend took leave of the restaurant, I made sure J knew that that would never be happening again. Somehow, I think I am still roped into going to Former Friend's house for the baby-viewing and lunch-bringing. Damn.

One Person's Trash is Another's Prize

I have had a floor lamp sitting in my living room since the day I moved in. Why Titterton left it is beyond me, and it pissed me off for the first three months...at which point I lost the desire to talk about it or any energy to actually dispose of it. So for over a year, this thing has literally just stood on the fringe of my living room collecting dust. A few days ago, Rafferty was telling me about how a former co-worker of mine (who still works with her) has a habit of walking around the stock room or empty cubes at work looking for freebies addressed to people who are no longer with the company (I bet I still get some good stuff. I should really look into having her forward those to me). The basic gist of the story was G would collect anything and swear she needs it so long as it's free.

As Rafferty said, "You could tell the office, 'I have a can. Who wants a can?' And she would be the first person running up to you, 'Me! I need a can!'" So that's where I got the idea that I could unload the lamp on G. Not that she's a charity case. Because she's not. She just likes free stuff. Anything free. She's young, newly married, and trying to furnish a new apartment. I looked at this as a complete service. So I took a picture of the lamp and emailed G and sure enough she jumped on it. She swung by after work and I gave her the lamp and she took two books I was planning on giving to a used book store. She can do whatever she wants to with the lamp. No returns on that one! She helped me out, the sweet thing! Love it.

My Gladware

What is it with people thinking that Gladware brought to their parties are theirs to keep? The stuff in the Gladware is yours; not the containers themselves. Geesh! If I had a dime for every stolen container, I'd have enough to buy a whole new set of varying sizes. The long 4th of July holiday has seen the loss of two of my containers. I'm not made of money, folks. A girl needs a few plastic containers to call her own. Geesh...

Coming up: Weekend Pub Crawl

Today we're celebrating CC's husband's birthday. She always does it up big. This year she carefully mapped out fun bars with healthy time periods, christened it Boozapalooza, and encouraged all of us to eat a good breakfast. Though I doubt very much I'll be making it for the 12:30 start, my goal is to make it to The Globe and the gin mills thereafter, leading us to the Brauhaus and corresponding after-Schnitzel watering holes.

In interesting pub crawl news, FTF claims to have never been on one. WTF?!?! True? How is it possible to live in Milwaukee and never go on a pub crawl? I know that, after this revelation, he was expecting a generous invitation to today's festivities. I just couldn't bring myself to extend one. Pub crawl recap to follow.

Good Night?

2007-07-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

You know it must've been a fun (or funny) night when the last thing you can remember vividly was a little after midnight-- and you know for a fact you didn't hop into bed until 2:30 am.

When you vaguely remember falling down a (small) hill and laughing your ass off because you can't get up, you know it was damn interesting.

When you wake up with a fuzzy mind, a sore knee, and a sick tummy, you know you're getting way too old for hard nights (thank god they're in moderation!)

When you know you weren't the only one feeling like crap the next morning, you know it was a Friday night out with the Chicago Crew.

All of this- and a raging hangover that lasted all of Saturday morning- over a party I didn't even want to go to in the first place. Luckily, I had a good designated driver. Now if only she could fill in the blanks about my conversation with The Crush, most of the gaps for the evening will all have been relatively filled. Unfortunately, seeing as she wasn't there for most of it, I just have to believe it was our everyday normal, playful banter--and nothing more than a kiss good-bye.

Looks as though I need to re-evaluate my cocktail strategy in a jiffy as we have a big pub crawl coming up. Luckily, there won't be any hills down which to stumble, but the same cast of characters will be present and I'm hoping to stumble away with my memory intact on that one. I predict that party will be far more memorable than Friday night's bash.

Dior Sunglasses and the LaSalle Street Bus

2007-06-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

There are certain activities that I just know will be interesting before I even do them. Riding the #156 bus during evening rush hour is one of them. By the time the crowds of people pile on at Madison, there is a 100% guarantee of having an interesting exchange or happening of some sort with a fellow rider. This evening was no exception. And it involved not one person but rather the whole front half of the bus.

As we lurched down LaSalle, PR Waif kept adjusting her Dior sunglasses atop her head. The same sunglasses I never see on her face so much as on top of her head. Sure, most women push back their hair or utilize sunglasses in this fashion for short periods of time, but PR Waif will wear the glasses atop her head all the time. And really, I'm sure it's because she's showing off the Dior name. In the office, in meetings, on a plane, on a bus, in gloomy weather (like today), or in the darkest of night, there will be the glasses--atop her head.

So as the bus screeched to a halt before we rear-ended a car, it's no surprise that I felt a shot of bitchy glee tingle through me as I watched PR Waif's Dior sunglasses fly off her head and disappear. As she cried out about her lost possession, I couldn't help but crack wise about the sunglasses and her distraught nature. In a matter of minutes, all of the surrounding passengers were in on the gentle ribbing and I had a nice little pool going about where the glasses would be found.

(Sorry Blond Betting Boy and Dark-Haired Mystery Man, you were off by several rows of seats. It's too bad you got forced to the back of the bus by the crabby driver before the glasses were located and positioned- once again- atop her head (Yes, really). You would've enjoyed the celebration when the glasses were found and would've really enjoyed the comments directed at the glasses by my friend (e.g. "I'm so happy I found you, my pretty.") Wish you could've been there to cheer with the rest of the crowd.)

Yes, PR Waif loved the attention. And the joviality made for an unusually enjoyable commute. I wish I could take this bus more often. It would do wonders in making my daily commute faster and more entertaining.

Afterglow-worthy

2007-06-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

Dear DXB:

That above-average evening was not only noteworthy, but afterglow-worthy. Apparently we (you) are...evolving...as the years progress. (Read what you like into that) Perhaps the summer will be especially interesting after all.

Smooches,
MoC

R.I.P. Liz Claiborne

2007-06-27T18:25:00.000-05:00

Liz ~ Your perfume will long remind me of my college years; your handbags and business coordinates will remain some of my smarter business casual travel togs. Design away in the great beyond.

H2O Warehouse Sale

2007-06-23T12:47:00.001-05:00

How did I spend my morning? Getting up at the crack of dawn to drag my happy ass to H2O's one-day only annual warehouse sale. Getting there at 6:45 has its perks. I was in the third wave of ladies, gay men, and unhappy husbands to pour into the first tent and then wait patiently to be allowed into their warehouse, where all of their yummy products were available to the public at a fraction of their retail cost. I got about $500 worth of products for $112. (Can we say birthday, thank-you for collecting my mail, and Christmas presents?)

It was quite the sight to behold, and the H2O corporate folks were all really patient and kind and have this whole thing down to a science (this being their 9th year and all). Because they limit the number of people in the warehouse at a given time, there's no pushing, shoving, screaming, yelling, or bitchiness of any sort. It's just one great big blow-out sale, where the prices just can't be beat.

Now it's nap time. Getting up that early on a Saturday with that much morning activity is just insane.

Bliss

2007-06-21T21:31:00.000-05:00

Winter vacation 2007 has been officially booked. St. Martin (again) for another blissful week of sun, sand, surf, hot French men, and an endless supply of Bacardi. Divine, I tell you.

Not Leaving Well Enough Alone

2007-06-21T18:09:00.000-05:00

Even though I have as much knowledge of the situation as the next person (unless the next person is someone like Patrick Dempsey, in which case, I will completely defer to him), I'm willing to bet that Isaiah Washington is an outright liar who is incapable of leaving well enough alone. If things really went down like he says they did, why is this story coming out now, after his reprimand, after his community service PSA, and after his firing?

This isn't the first time this guy has had problems on set, from what I've read, and I'm willing to bet it won't be the last. I mean, really, no one likes a trouble-maker; people downright detest an angry, volatile trouble-maker. Unless it's creating a minor uproar among celebrity gossip hounds, in which case my eyes and ears are open--and I'm mocking every word they say.

Anyhoo, if he wants to take the high road, he should wise up and keep his mouth shut; find a whole new project to which he can devote his energy and leave his former castmates alone. Seriously, Isaiah, this is getting old and we just don't care anymore.

Happy Birthday, William

2007-06-21T13:47:00.000-05:00

Enjoy those millions of Pounds -- and being 25.

Ah, 25. That was a good year.

Disappearing Lake

2007-06-21T09:37:00.000-05:00

In odd news, Chileans misplace a gigantic lake. I hope there were no people that mysteriously got sucked away as well.

Dwight's Future?

2007-06-18T13:22:00.000-05:00

I would hope that this isn't going to happen anytime soon because I sort of like The Office just the way it is. But if I had some Schrutebucks to bet on the idea seeing eventual fruition, I think I'd be a rich, happy person.

Losing Control of My Self-Control

2007-06-15T14:29:00.000-05:00

Why is it that I have no self-control when it comes to indulging in a sweet treat sitting in a candy dish on my co-workers desk? To my credit, I have managed to avoid it for the past 3 days (no thanks to my longing stares and other coworkers oohing and aahing over the candy). But today I broke down, enjoying one tasty chocolate-covered macadamia nut cluster, which surely packs enough calories and fat to make me practically not be allowed to eat anything else at all today.

In the greater scheme of things, the bigger question is why did I feel the need to put anything in my mouth after enjoying a filling lunch at Cafe Bacci?

Just Your Average Wang, Chen, or Zhang

2007-06-13T12:08:00.000-05:00

How odd to have a billion people sharing one of 93 last names. Yes, 93.

Back from Beijing

2007-06-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

High (and low) lights of my second time in this polluted metropolis (and subsequent travels to and from) include:

* Had the opportunity to travel on ANA from NRT to PEK. The comp upgrade on this leg was much appreciated (thank you, ANA counter personnel) and the service was impeccable. A nice surprise over all considering I have only sold them to travel agents [ah, I miss my former life] and have never had the chance to actually experience them--until now.

* Getting sick sick SICK my first full day in the city. Me thinks it had more to do with something funky I ate on the plane (I never should've been adventurous enough to try that scallop. Airplane scallops? Yeah, not so smart) than all of those Bacardi and diets with some coworkers the night I arrived. Really. So...I ended up missing out on the Temple of Heaven--but the upshot is I got more sleep in that one day than I got the remainder of the trip. Nice.

* Found a good (yes, really), hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant about 5 minutes from China World Hotel. Noodles do come from Asia so I suppose it's no surprise they can make a decent lasagna.

* Happened across a fun Mexican restaurant not far from the hotel and right down the block from the Pearl Market. It had all of the staples for a good night: excellent guitar player/singer who knew all 60's/70's/80's/90's songs, good apps, excellent margaritas, and a plethora of outdoor seating on the one cool night in the hot-hot city. Oh, and the woman who owns the restaurant hails from Iowa; this was her haven for U.S. ex-pats (how many of them are in China, though? Besides her and her brother. It seemed like there was more to this chick's story).

* The show was really, really good. I- and all of my coworkers- should be really quite proud.

* Found what the locals consider to be "the best restaurant in Beijing." It's on the top floor of the Pearl Market (and is a name that is beyond my comprehension to spell or pronounce), and has excellent Peking duck in addition to an assortment of other tasty treats. The over all experience- including the food and presentation- remind me a lot of Jumbo's in Hong Kong, only on terra firma.

* The flight home yesterday had not one but two people pass out on either side of the bulkhead aisles. The woman who went down in front of me has been drinking, so she was dehydrated and inebriated and for awhile there she looked like she was going to puke (which would've had no happy ending for me). Luckily, nothing bad happened and she turned out to be fine. Not sure what the story was for the man on the other side of the plane, but he seemed fine, too, once they got him checked out and up and moving. Still...excitement.

No staying late for any sightseeing this time around. Already saw the Great Wall and some other interesting Beijing features. I was excited to get home, get rested, and call it a day on this mainland China business. This event was one that really kicked my ass.

Since returning, I have begun to catch up on my life here, complete with a symphony of cicadas throughout my town. When I left on the 1st, I literally watched the last stages of two cicadas birthing themselves in front of my building's front door. It was truly disgusting (Ok...and slightly cool. But really, more disgusting than cool). Slightly more than a week later, the shells have been swept away (or eaten?) and now the clumsy, flying creatures are harmonizing outside my windows and rustling around in my trees. Did I mention it was truly gross? Well, it is. And yes, I am a gigantic big baby for being so darn terrified of them. But I'm not keen on infestations from any creature, flying or otherwise. I hope they can get going with this mating thing and buzz off.

Cicada Watch

2007-06-01T09:50:00.000-05:00

I thought I would get lucky and have this whole cicada infestation thing pass by my town. Over Memorial Day, I drew more than one sigh of relief that I had moved from the River Forest-Oak Park area, as I nearly drove into oncoming traffic as I drove down Chicago Avenue, staring in disgust at the little buggers clinging to trees and lamp posts. I told myself that if my little corner north of there was going to see any cicadas, hopefully it would be while I was in China so I wouldn't have to see any.

The rain yesterday must've made it easier for these creatures to birth themselves from the ground because I saw more than a few on my walk home from the train and even more just a few hours later as I was heading off for some Bacardi and diets down the road. I'm listening to them prattle away right now and am sending lots of thanks that my town will be under siege while I'm gone.

Cicadas, I beg you! Please do your business and go away before the middle of June. No offense, but you're really super ugly and annoying.

Say My Name

2007-05-27T18:21:00.000-05:00

After many months of listening to Diva Niece babble on and on, laying out her extensive vocabulary for all to hear (in innumerable combinations no less), she finally made me the happiest Auntie ever by uttering my name yesterday. And not just once, but several times. Now that's pure fabulousness....and fantastic timing, too, what with my departure for China (and weeks away from her) just around the corner.

As for China, just 5 days until departure. This trip offers a mixed bag of emotions: Frustration (not only for the many months leading up to it, but also for what is bound to describe every waking minute there); relief (that this event will soon be over); nervousness (that the event will be the success we're expecting); pride (when the event is an unequivocal success). I've never worked so hard, been so frustrated, experienced so many counter-cultural issues (and survived them), and still made the strides I've made. Crazy and amazing.

Pain in My Ear

2007-05-21T21:07:00.001-05:00

A sure way to make me go crazy is to sit me on a conference call with some clients in China who are in a big room that echoes as they yell into the speaker phone, all talking over each other in Mandarin and English. Add a bunch of really loud Americans to the call and everyone talking over each other and my last good nerve is being stomped upon. Did I mention this has been going on for 2 hours and counting? (the agenda is barely touched) Last. Nerve. Is. Snapping...Painfully.

Thank God For Metra

2007-05-21T13:23:00.001-05:00

For once I'm actually ahead of the curve. Because this news isn't heartening in any way.

Celebration of Me

2007-05-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

I don't believe in celebrating birthdays. Never have since my disaster of a 20th, wherein everyone but The One Who Got Away forgot (16 Candles has nothing on me). So it's no surprise that I didn't acknowledge the day I started wowing the world this past Monday.

Others had a different idea. Like my FTF, who believes I deserve more than just a special day but rather a whole week. A Celebration of MoC. (Who am I to stop him?)

Like Rafferty, who knows the best way to toast to another year of me is Chinese take-out and Bacardi and Diet's--and this amazing present (caffe mug and matching "platter"), which I casually mentioned I adored when seeing it in St. Martin.

Or PR Waif and Ady toasting to me with fantastic Spanish wine and cheese fondue at The Tasting Room.

Like drinks with friends at one of my favorite neighborhood taverns during cheap beer night (yes, there is such a thing and it's fabulous).

Or CP in Sales, who thought a big lemon cake on Friday would be a nice way to end the work week--and toast to me. Nothing says you're awesome better than gobs of frosting.

And of course, the big finale, cocktails with my saucy gal pals last night in Roscoe Village.

And joy! My birthday present to myself. Because my trusty other broke during a drunken mishap in Milan. Me thinks I will adore this one even more.

Me thinks my FTF is on to something with this week-long celebration. For while other people believe they're celebrating my birthday, I am celebrating having amazing people in my life--and enjoying the little things.

Unfortunately, I picked up some sort of nasty spring cold Friday afternoon (it something going around?), so last night was a bit of a disaster because of my snuffling, puffy eyes, and icky cough. Things aren't much better today, but I think I've encountered the worst of it. To be safe, I'm sitting in and doing absolutely nothing today (my liver thanks me as well).

Weekly (Cryptic) Lessons

2007-05-13T19:05:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where you wake up, as if out of a long and involved dream, and realize that you have been going through life- whether it was the last day, week, month (year(s)?)- on auto pilot? I recently snapped out of such a week-long state, and in my awakening realized that I had a fair amount of take-aways. For instance,

* There are a lot of flaky companies out there that position themselves as healthy and sane.

* You never realize how much you miss someone- even someone you know you will be able to see often and speak to even more than that- until they're gone.

* If you don't have an inside voice, save your comments until you're outside.

* Friends who have your best interest at heart still can royally fuck up a situation they don't have any business nosing around in. If said friends are drinking, the severity of the fuck-up increases exponentially.

* Forgiveness is hard because letting go of semi-justified angry feelings the moment you feel them coming on is hard. Festering under them, though, is completely unhealthy and can drive you to the brink of heartache and possible insanity.

* You cannot ever really fool the person who knows you the best.

* Misguidingly writing this person out of your life is usually a mistake. Better to allocate them to another life compartment. Because seriously? When you really need the person who knows you the best, they'll be there--regardless of anything that has recently gone down. And you'll be really, really happy they're there.

* Back-stabbing co-workers can be dealt with in feats of intelligence and relative sanity. Usually they're so self-absorbed they have no idea they've dug a deep hole into which they're about to fall.

* The grass isn't always greener. And if it is, make sure it's not a mirage.

* You can never have enough 2 cent stamps laying around.

* There is such a thing as the pre-birthday doldrums and even a lot of libations don't cure them.

* Cupcakes are edible happiness.

I can only imagine what lessons this week holds...

Surviving Cinco de Mayo

2007-05-08T22:08:00.000-05:00

I've been limping around the past few days thanks to a little Cinco de Mayo accident wherein GBF (supposedly) accidentally pushed me down. My graceful spill kept my drink intact (not a drop spilled!) and provided entertainment for him, me, and our friends plus a few other nearby patrons. It also succeeded in bruising and spraining my right knee. Ah, the dangers of a long, hilarious night out with copious frosty beverages.

As for GBF, tomorrow is his last day with the company. I won't comment on what this means for the future work atmosphere or my daily office entertainment. But I will say we're all looking forward to celebrating his new employment elsewhere with several after-work cocktails. Not that any of us need an excuse to down a few libations...

Money and a Famous Last Name Don't Get You Everything

2007-05-05T00:30:00.000-05:00

It appears as though one of the most overhyped, trashy rich girls is (thankfully) not getting a Get Out of Jail Free card. 45 days in the clink just might do her some good.

Quick Change

2007-05-01T20:24:00.000-05:00

So it looks like I'm off to China after all. The owner of the company informed me that his righthand man's decision to cut me from the travel list was not only poor but also uncalled for and one he did not approve of or know about until this morning.

Though I feel a little better knowing that the owner appreciates my skills, I'm not sure what it says for his trust in the man that he empowers to make decisions in his absence. And I know how I feel about that.

In the meantime, I'm brushing up on my Mandarin.

11 Years Makes a Difference

2007-04-30T20:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Adam:

Please accept my apology for being so antisocial this evening. It really is so very unlike me. It's just...well...it's been 11 years, and though I have thought about you on occasion I really had no idea what to do when faced with...you...sitting a few seats away in tonight's focus group.

(By the way, didn't that TV show just suck? I sincerely hope I single-handedly kept it from ever appearing on network TV.)

I know I caught your eye, and I know you recognized me. Neither of us have changed that much (by the way, you're looking well). The proctor lady was Eastern European mean (you know what I mean) so I didn't want to get in trouble by drawing attention to us. And when we were allowed to leave, the mad dash to the door by everyone else in the room completely separated me from you. I really was going to stop and talk to you.

It seems as though you knew the guy sitting in front of us. You appeared deep in conversation with him, and when they paid me before you and I was swept into the elevator, there was just no time to jump out and loiter around hoping to make small talk with you. And then when you were just paces in back of me (with that friend of yours again) as I was hailing my cab, I noticed you noticing me.

Anyway, I really just wanted to let you know that I wanted to say hi. I wanted to ask how you've been and find out what you have been up to and chat about all of the people we were mutual friends with (yes, I know Jon and Kristen are married and that is just stunning to me to this very day). I wanted to reconnect. I have no excuse for not doing so except to say...I got shy. Yes, I know, that soooo isn't me. And that's why it was weird.

I mean, can you blame me? I was thinking how awesome it would be to reconnect, and then I started thinking, "My God, MoC, it's been eleven freaking years. Eleven! A lot happens in over a decade. We didn't keep in touch for over a decade; do we even have anything to say to each other besides the nod and smile I gave you?"

And though I'm sure there is, I was freaked out by the thought that someone who once spent countless weekends with me, was a part of my life in varying degrees for four years, and who road tripped with me to U of I more than once and always happily...that that person would look at me and realize that I am not that same girl. And the thought of you seeing who I am now and maybe not liking that girl nearly as much killed me. And the thought that we let 11 years go by like a snap of a finger is inexcusable. And the idea that we may have absolutely nothing to say to each other devastated me.

So really, it's not that I didn't recognize you or want to run up and hug you and pretend as though this sea of time wasn't swimming between us. It's just that I found too many easy excuses and you obviously did, too, and maybe that made things more interesting. Because I can write this letter, and I know you were telling your friend, 'That's my friend MoC from MU' and we each obtained a story from the evening.

Oh! And it's great you're back from Milwaukee. Maybe we'll run into each other some time soon. I promise to say hi next time.

Always, MoC

Happy Anniversary To Me

2007-04-29T09:42:00.000-05:00

Two big anniversaries to celebrate within the past 24 hours. One year ago yesterday, I signed my life away and bought my condo. One year ago today, I made the big move and successfully made a life for myself 30 minutes more north than I ever thought I would live. It's been a crazy, unbelievably fast year and a really happy one as well. May my next year and all the years I remain here be just as wonderful (although it doesn't have to be as speedy. That time racing by stuff is freaky).

Oh, Jealousy (alternate title: When It Rains, It Pours)

2007-04-28T12:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we celebrated Rafferty's birthday with karaoke and copious drinks. It was way low-key and full of many surprises. The best one being The Crush's re-entry into my life. As Rafferty recapped it this morning, "Once you two locked eyes, no one else existed." Cliche? Maybe. True? Yes.

What made the evening especially interesting is while The Crush and I were catching up on the past year, DXB was working up the courage to come crash our reunion for a chat, pacing back and forth between us and eavesdropping whenever possible. When he finally did find an opening for himself, my heart actually hurt a little for him as he was so obviously jealous and trying to not only stand out but steer my sole attention to him. (It didn't work.)

Come the end of the evening, I had personal after-party invitations from the both of them and it should be no surprise that I agreed to go with The Crush. Which happened to crush DXB a little more than a small bit. To add insult to his own injured heart (or libido...or both), he decided to call me when he got home just as The Crush and I were ready to get reacquainted. I know he was fishing for something. Exactly what remains a mystery. I know I shouldn't but I can't help but feel a tiny bit sorry for him. I've never seen him quite so vulnerable or let his guard down quite so much.

Despite that, I can say with very much honesty that it was really quite excellent being with The Crush, enjoying his company, and spending a leisurely morning of extra-strong coffee in his backyard with him.

I can say with complete certainty that he will be on my mind for much of the day. I didn't realize how much I truly missed him until he was before me. If the past 18 hours are any indication, this could be the start of an extra-fun summer.

It's All About Where You Eat Today

2007-04-26T12:57:00.000-05:00

Make a choice on your city's dining list, enjoy a great meal, and donate towards local HIV/AIDS organizations.

It's About Time

2007-04-26T12:54:00.000-05:00

I support our troops. I have many, many friends and family that have been or currently are in the military. But this crazy train got off course long ago and we need to wrap it up sooner rather than later.

But It Just Wouldn't Be The Same

2007-04-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

I like "30 Rock." It's comic genious actually. And the very best character EVER is Baldwin's Jack Donaghy. Sadly, without Jack, the show would be your average, it's-not-even-worth-TIVOing comedy.

NBC rejecting his desire to be let out of his contract for a dumb reason like "parental alienation" (seriously, he just made that up) and hoping he doesn't take the cast and crew down with him (Why would he? They didn't rant at his child) is downright stupid.

Sure, Baldwin is a class A jerk. But he's a funny jerk. And "30 Rock" will continue to record on my TIVO.

Celebrity Parenting

2007-04-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

MSNBC has it right with this article.

My favorite point is #10. So true.

Slow Leak = Hours of Fun

2007-04-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

I received an unexpected call at work today. It was from Debbie at the management company regarding the unit below mine. It seemed, she told me, that they had a bit of water coming from their ceiling in their closet. She speculated (and rightly so, we later learned) that this was coming from my water source; more specifically, the water source in my closet that was repaired during my last heat problem just two weeks ago.

My heart plummeted and then quickly ached a bit and then my pulse quickened and I immediately thought the worst. Was this going to be an expense I had to pick up? Was the neighbor below me experiencing major water damage? Was I experiencing some major water damage? And if so, what was that going to cost me?

I was nearly ready to pass out just thinking about it, ruing the day I ever decided home owning was a glorious experience I wanted to have. Debbie thought it best I get home ASAP. So I hopped the next train I could and made it home in time for the heating and cooling guy to waltz in with all of his machinery and get to work at 3:00 sharp.

As an aside, this is the same heating and cooling man who has helped me the past two times. We've seen far too much of each other in the past 5 months. The old biddies on my floor are going to start gossiping about my Polish luvah, I'm sure of it.

Anyway, my Mr. Fix-It tinkered around making quite a racket for not one, not two, not even three hours. Try, um...SIX hours. Yes, SIX. I was livid and tired and desperate for him (and later, his boss, too) to leave.

When all was fixed- how many hours later? Yes, that's SIX- and they assured me I wouldn't be experiencing further problems and I signed the work order, I could only sigh in utter happiness that I wasn't footing the bill on all of this overtime.

So when I woke up this morning and thought it would be just any old day of the week, I had no idea what would be in store for me.

I am craving a whole cask of red wine. Thank god tomorrow is the monthly dinner party, where I may not get a cask of wine, but it will surely be flowing freely enough.

Under-Valued

2007-04-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

Today I received one of those mixed blessings; the curse of news that is both good and bad and a lot of things in-between. Today I learned that I am not going to Asia in 5 weeks for my show.

Being in the event planning business I can say that working my arse off for nearly a year to make this thing go off without a hitch, get a critical mass of people there, and have the optimum publicity and buzz has big pay off when I'm at the event. There is nothing quite like running around like crazy, multitasking and witnessing that all of the long hours and hard work was not in vain. It's just not even close to the same when reports are called or emailed in from the show.

The decision was made for budgetary reasons. I am all for being a team player, and I respect my budget and that of the company and understand that if there isn't money to send all of the necessary people then so be it. But to not send me?!? That was a slap in the face. A hard one.

Oddly enough, the slap had a delayed reaction--because my first thought was a giddy one. A "woohoo, I don't have to go" one. Honestly, I've been to this location before. I don't have much desire to go again, especially for 10 days. And I think of the amount of work that I can get done while everyone's out of the office, and I'm actually looking forward to those days.

But then... Then it hit. The slap reaction. The sting. There were so many other people that could have been cut from the travel list. So many other people that don't have much to do when they're at these events. Is this precedent-setting? What does this say about how my position is viewed from the executive who made this decision (who, mind you, I get along with well)?

In the end, I can only view this in one way: I am completely under-valued. Seeing as I have never, ever been treated this way during my entire career, it's an entirely foreign feeling and an equally foreign situation. I'm waffling between being flabbergasted and being disgusted and am ultimately hurt and entirely miffed.

Seeing as there is little that can be said (the decision has been made--without my consultation or opinion), I can only channel Scarlett: Tomorrow is another day.

Good Lord, let it be a good one!

This Doesn't Happen Every Day

2007-04-19T22:33:00.000-05:00

Today I had a unique experience that doesn't happen to just anyone any old day of the week. Today I sat before a newly-appointed 23-year-old CFO and was told, as he slouched in his chair over-using air quotes and looking especially bored, "You keep saying you're going to 'try' to cut a considerable sum from your budget. Are you actually planning on 'doing' so?" This--after being told the necessary news just 5 minutes in advance of the meeting. I could've jumped across the table and taken him. And what's with the air quotes around doing?

Boy, Those Brits Know How To Have Fun

2007-04-19T08:48:00.000-05:00

Whoever is funding this theme park has too much money on their hands. If they're looking to throw money away, my hand is extended.

New Pooh

2007-04-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

My friend Pooh Bear shared some good news with me last night: His frigid wife finally let him into her bed, and as a result they will be having baby Pooh #4 in November. Despite the fact that he (still) questions just how much she loves him, the good news is he had sex. And since he wants a big family, the bonus is the baby. Many congrats to the Bear family! May this Pooh be as magical as the last three.

What Did I Sign Up For?

2007-04-17T22:01:00.000-05:00

This time last year, I was packing up my meager possessions, calling movers, and saving the last of my pennies knowing I would never again know what it would be like to have a significant amount of funds at my disposal--all because I was embarking on my first go 'round at home ownership.

My one year anniversary in my condo is in one week. As I approach this milestone, I can't help but look back and see what I wanted, what I got, and ask, really, is this what I signed up for?

What I wanted: A nice two bedroom condo- preferably vintage- with hardwood floors, a fair amount of space, a balcony or deck, in-unit washer and dryer, a parking space, and a couple good-looking, single men.

What I got: A nice one bedroom condo- not vintage- with no hardwood floors (but Pergo floors in my awesome kitchen), not-so-much space (although it is a relatively open floor plan), no balcony or deck, and no in-unit washer and dryer. There is a parking space, and that counts for something. I haven't seen any men that can be considered really "good-looking," per se, but they might be single.

What I got myself into: A 33-year-old building that is fine for right now (well, the building itself is fine. The neighbors...well, you can't pick 'em, can you?). It's in a nice neighborhood, close to the Metra and a beer garden. (The beer garden is a big selling point) And though I outgrew this place the minute I started to unpack, I cannot beat my mortgage payments and I certainly cannot beat the association fees and taxes. Taxes are big deal, aren't they?

Is this what I signed up for? It wasn't what I expected, but it certainly isn't something I regret. Being a home owner is harder than I thought it would be (I wish someone would've given me a heads up). I hate that I can't call a landlord to fix the littlest thing. I really hate that there are certain expenses that can land in my lap (hello, new thermostat).

But it can be exciting and it can be fun and in the end I'm hoping that this little investment of mine turns out to be worth it all. Because I have my eye on a few places nearby, all with 2 bedrooms, balconies, and hopefully in-unit washer and dryers. Because that in-unit washer and dryer, that's now my number one must-have next time around. Hardwood floors and good-looking single men are nice plusses as well.

Finally--Some Professional Laughs

2007-04-15T16:48:00.000-05:00

Network TV has long been missing a good unscripted comedy. Imagine my joy when my DVR picked up "Thank God You're Here." Makes me smile in the way only semi-forgotten comedians can.

Diego Does Church

2007-04-15T15:01:00.000-05:00

Nothing shows how influential educational kiddie programming is on today's toddlers like the art of imitation. In church yesterday evening: Diva Niece channeling Diego. As the priest holds up the host, the only sound to be heard was her clapping and screaming "Oh no! Clap clap clap! Let's go!" Kids. Always a riot.

Ah Firenze

2007-04-07T23:40:00.000-05:00

Back from Italy and, as I suspected, it was quite amazing.

Milan wasn't at all what I imagined. Maybe because it just isn't a very pretty city or maybe because the area I spent the majority of my time was dank and relatively non-descript. Despite not feeling much of an affinity for the city, my time working there did have its moments.

We stayed at the newly-opened Nhow Hotel. So new, in fact, that cab drivers didn't even know it existed. All the trendy folks did, though. Aveda had a huge conference going on there, and the people it brought in were real characters. There were also model auditions and a Ferragamo fashion shoot taking place during my stay. I can't even begin to really describe the wacky hotel and its uber-trendy interior (and exterior) decorations. It was...an experience indeed.

The area of town we stayed in is what the Milanese describe as a changing environment. Much how Wicker Park was 10 years ago. Only different. Aside from the old section of town where the Duomo looms large and the famed La Scala opera house stands proudly on its corner lot, there is graffiti everywhere. It's beyond sad to walk or drive past buildings hundreds and hundreds of years old that have been desecrated in such ways. Though I was there for a week, I was sensitive to it every day, never waning.

Aside from a couple nights in the old part of town including a walk through fashion row, two visits to the best little gelato shop owned by the cutest old Italian lady who didn't speak a lick of English, and playing Yahtzee with some locals and GBF during an especially inebriated night, Milan was...eh. Just eh.

I was thrilled to head out to Florence, where I just knew I wouldn't be disappointed. And I wasn't.

Ah Firenze.

I immediately fell in love and miss it sorely. Words cannot describe the beauty and magic of every square inch of this city. It is perfectly preserved from its Renaissance period right down to the cobblestones, the iron loops on the sides of buildings for which locals could tie their horses, and the grand Ponte Vecchio.

My friend and I stayed at the Hotel De Lanzi, located one block from the Duomo on a quiet little street that I almost missed walking from the train station that first night. It's a typical European hotel and was perfect for our needs.

Given the short period of time we had (just under 2 days), I'm amazed at all that we packed in and still had time for many stops for wine. The Uffizi Gallery in all its grandeur; the Accedemia and its main atraction--the breathtakingly beautiful David; Pitti Palace; the Duomo and Bell Tower; the Medici Chapel; the San Lorenzo market; the leather market; the Ponte Vecchio; and, of course, a stop at a very fine wine shop.

Did I mention the stops for amazing wine? Yeah, it's all really incredible and the house wines- obviously all local- are fantastic and inexpensive.

Though I navigated the town well right down to enjoying some of its most hidden treasures, there are some things I wish I could've done. On the agenda for next time: the Boboli Gardens (inclement weather changed my plans of traipsing through that corner of beauty); the Riccardi-Medici Palace; the Bargello (I enjoyed the knock-off sculptures in the outdoor piazza and admired them while sipping some chianti in my last hours in the city but didn't have the opportunity to enjoy all of the sculptures inside the museum); and day tours to Fiesole and Siena as well as a wine tour or two.

Yes, I will return--and hopefully sooner rather than later. It is a life-changing place, Firenze is. A wonderful experience I won't soon forget.

New in Health News...

2007-03-22T06:30:00.000-06:00

Looks like I quit my favorite vice before this side effect decided to rear its ugly head.

And Then...

2007-03-21T22:34:00.000-06:00

Today has been one of those days. You know the kind. The ones that happen when you absolutely do not have the time, desire, or patience to deal with incident after bloody incident, each topping the other with its perplexities and outlandish happenings.

This is what I get for going out last night instead of staying in tending to preparations for my forthcoming trip. The Cosmos is getting back at me.

Cosmos, I soooo hope you enjoyed the copious laughs you got at my expense today.

It started with that great big pile of work that I could barely make a dent in despite 11 hours of non-stop trying.

And then...there was that collection agency on my ass for medical bills from the summer. Seriously, how is it that when the insurance agency (to whom I pay good money) and the doctor's (who accept said insurance for which I pay well) cannot come to any agreement (it's beyond me why exactly), they turn to the patient with an "oh well, we give up; your deal now" attitude?! Might I remind the Cosmos: This is getting old. You have been laughing at this since August. I think we need to wrap this up and move on.

And then...there was that call from the mortgage company advising payment problems. Who knew they called so late? Who knew they also have such nice workers. I spoke to three differerent people three different time in a 45 minute period and all three were very nice and helpful and calm--even when I totally lost it (perhaps more than once but less than three time). Kudos, Bank of America.

And then...I learned that check I mailed for my mortgage payment just never made it to its intended destination. Damn the USPS. (And yes, I will not be using your service for these payments again)

And then...I had to stop payment on the aforementioned check and now must deal with getting new payment in to the mortgage people before they decide to not be so nice to me anymore.

And then...I needed to actually set my mind to my trip.

But at this point, I'm unmotivated and exhausted and am honestly laughing because if I don't laugh I will cry. A lot. When it rains it pours and today I got drenched.

Luckily, I am trying my darndest to channel one of my favorite heroines to lift my spirits and pull me out of the dumps. Oh, Scarlett, yes, tomorrow is another day!

And what a day it will be! I'm working from home; I can make all of the necessary calls to clear up the cosmos' big crappy jokes; and, I can even do lunch with old co-workers before leaving for...wait for it...Italy. I'm so very excited about that even if it does include a week's worth of work before only a tiny bit of vacation. I'll be with some fantastic people in a country I've only dreamed of visiting (such a long time coming, I'd say) and life will be very, very good. That trip alone is enough to make me scoff at the other issues from today.

Pshaw indeed. Take that, Cosmos.

Nothing Stays the Same

2007-03-19T18:43:00.000-06:00

Nearly 8 years ago, I met a really incredible person based almost entirely on a dare. Our conversation was never supposed to last more than 10 minutes. We were never really supposed to get to know each other. We certainly never expected that 8 years later we would still be in each others lives. Yet that's the case.

We used to think that was pretty incredible. We used to think we beat the odds in some way and that our friendship was something pretty special.

Somewhere in the past 8 years, we went from dare to dating to amazing friends (oftentimes with benefits). During that time, we went from the incredibly fun getting-to-know-you period to the god-we-might-as-well-be-an-old-married-couple comfortable-ness. More than anything, we are great friends.

He loves me. I love him. Neither of us are or ever have been in love with each other. And that probably explains how we, seemingly effortlessly, have made this last so long.

If I could chart our highs and lows, I would see that we have slowly been on a downhill turn. Our relationship, the one we didn't intentionally mean to build, has slowly been crumbling and I fear the end of what we have known for nearly 8 years is upon us.

It's the little things that tell me that. I know he sees it, too. It scares him. He's eluded to as much. It scares me, too. He has no idea. Perhaps it's a phase. And that would be nice. But I think I know what is coming. It's really only a matter of time. Even if we remain friends on some level, it won't be the same. Nothing really ever is.

Dabbling in Domesticity

2007-03-07T21:45:00.000-06:00

So there have been these monthly dinner parties--the gatherings of the Jeunesse Doree, as we not-so-humbly refer to ourselves. One tends to be more extravagant than the next. And this month it is my turn to host the evening.

If you just had a sinking feeling and uttered "uh-oh," then we're totally on the same page. I had that same reaction a month ago. But I'm telling you, I've gotten better in the past 11 months, and I really felt up for the challenge this month. I've really been venturing into the whole domestic thing, and though I am far from a natural, I'm taking many things in stride (rather than freak out or throw in the towel and order take out).

So much so that I am actually laughing to myself at how I have let Friday's dinner party spin so out of control. First sign that something will become crazed: there is a theme. Yes, a theme. Early St. Joseph's Table. And for those that haven't a clue what that is, it's basically a toned down, Italian version of St. Patrick's Day. It gets nary a bit of recognition because it's trumped by the Irish feast day with it's miniscule man with a pot of gold and green beer. (I completely understand, by the way) Anyway, the Irish have their corned beef and cabbage and potatoes and beer and whiskey. The St. Joseph's Table is about pasta and fish and sweets and wine. I can so handle it.

In preparation, I have had to bring in a folding table and chairs (because I don't have enough table room or chairs). I have more wine than I know what to do with (Ok, that's just an outright exaggeration) plus what I have requested of some guests. There will be amazing appetizers including some fine imported Italian cheeses, a fantastic antipasto tray (meatless due to Lent), shrimp, and mini caprese's-on-a-stick. I have two trays of home-made lasagna, home-made marinara sauce, and will make a big salad. Add fresh crusty bread, and that is the main course. And then, the topper, dessert: mini cannolis and mini cream puffs from the most fantastic Italian bakery that my family has been frequenting since my mother was a kid. And party favors: Italian cookies.

I'm so proud of my menu. I'm so proud that nearly everything has been prepped. I am looking around my place right now thinking, "You're awesome. But you're putting off the really big thing." Yup, I really need to clean. Soooo badly. That's the last task. The hardest one. Surely the least desirable one.

I'm thrilled to host the dinner party. It will no doubt be awesome. We're going for karaoke afterwards, which will most likely be hysterically funny. And really, I'll be happiest when Saturday morning dawns. The preparations the past few nights have exhausted me! Luckily, I won't have to duplicate and/or top this extravaganza for another five months. No worries. Full on-set domesticity has not set in.

****************************

In other news, tonight was a big wash for home projects. I couldn't get any cleaning (or anything else for that matter) done because of the loooooong conference call with the Chinese followed by a lovely little chat with an ex-pat in Hong Kong. I have fulfilled my Asia business call quota for the next two weeks. And am now thoroughly exhausted.

Down with Rosie

2007-03-02T19:54:00.000-06:00

There was a time when I liked Rosie. She was never my favorite comic or talk show personality, but I got a kick out of her in "A League of Their Own" and the early years of her talk show had their humorous moments.

And then the broad got all entitled, and her high and mighty self started to get real annoying real quick.

And that's when I washed my hands clean of anything to do with her. No reading her [now defunct] magazine, no watching her [now defunct] talk show, and no caring about anything she said or did.

For awhile that was hard since she was still everywhere, getting louder and more ornery by the day. And then she dropped off the face of the Earth and life was quiet. Occasionally there would be the odd Lifestyle section article about her and her gay family cruise launch, and I let that slide because it seemed as though maybe she was making a turnaround. And doing good things for alternative families. And that's good and that's why I thought maybe she was settling down.

Oh, how wrong I was...

Then she joined The View. (This was, of course, after the debacle that was her Broadway producing career. If Boy George was involved, what made her think it was a good project? Maybe in 1981, but not in the 00's) And her big, loud, obnoxious mouth went spouting off about stuff she didn't know anything about relating to Donald Trump. And he got all pissy and I hope he does sue her ass. Now, anyone who knows me well knows I'm not a huge Trump fan by any means, but he was entitled to go off on her. She slandered his (good?) name. She deserves what she's getting. She fabricated and/or exaggerated "truths" and that got her in trouble. I'd feel bad, but we all know it's not the right thing to do. So there.

And then, I heard the latest altercation on "The View." And that did it for me. I flew into a blind rage. I officially hate her.

So, she and her cohort Joy berated (well, really, forcefully harassed) Elisabeth Hasselbeck about her political beliefs. Asking repeatedly how she could support our current administration. Offering up the latest accounts about the casualties (and injuries) in Iraq, The lies. The secrets. Why? Why? Why???? As though Elisabeth is GW's right hand gal. She's a conservative and proud of it. But she isn't part of the inner circle, so get off her back.

Like it or hate it, the girl has conviction. She's proud of those convinctions. I respect that. Just because you or I or that hateful Rosie don't agree doesn't make her wrong. And that's where Rosie went way over the top.

When discussing who she will vote for in the '08 elections, Elisabeth made a sound and well-voiced comment regarding how she will select which candidate to back, which included researching their views from every angle. And that's every candidate, not just the conservative ones. And only then would she make her decision. As she said, we (as free-thinking Americans) need to look at the upcoming elections and the candidates with a keen eye and make a sound decision for the future, as who is elected can likely change the course of our security and place in the world for many decades to come. I couldn't agree more.

But see, that's the thing about opinions and Rosie. You're allowed to have one unless Rosie disagrees with you. Otherwise, she will call you and your opinions ignorant and immature and advise you that she is beating up on you until you become older and wiser and think like her. Which is essentially what she told Elisabeth. I was so in shock I was screaming to the walls. That's pretty ballsy. And pretty over the top. And entirely unnecessary. And so incredibly wrong.

It is her way or the highway, and I hate that. If she could speak in a normal tone of voice without being belittling and sarcastic and mean-spirited and downright bitchy, then I would say she, too, is voicing her opinion. But she's not. She's a bully. A big, mean, bitchy bully. And no one likes that

As a role model for women- young and old- she has done a horrible thing. She has endorsed fighting over rational discussion. She has endorsed belittling opinions that are not her own. She has basically put her stamp on communism. I wish she would move to one of those countries. They'd like her if she spouted out their party line. And if she didn't, they'd throw her in the clink and no one would hear from her again.

So, this is MY opinion. And I'm entitled to it. Just as you're entitled to your own. And that's Ok.